Mornings after a sleepless night with baby can be a mess, but according to her recent Facebook post, mommy blogger Constance Hall definitely had one of the grossest mornings on record. Yep, she got baby poo IN HER VAGINA. That’s right. Read at your own risk.
The mom of seven was just getting through a typical sleepless night with her five-month-old baby, Raja, who was having trouble nursing due to a stuffy nose, when she caught of a whiff of poo-smell. Now this is normal, babies are pooping machines, and it was actually a good thing for Hall because baby Raja had been constipated for two days (TMI, but not really considering where this story leads).
Sh*t happens: 10 hilarious newborn photo shootsAs she motions for her husband Denim to get a new diaper, one of her older kids starts yelling that their dog, Peaches, has pooped all over the house. Moments later, another kid yells about how their little sister peed on the floor. What a morning, right?
But, the fun doesn’t end there. As Hall lifts Raja’s legs to wipe his bum, she feels his belly contract and out comes what Hall describes as “more thick yellow poo then I’ve ever seen a baby do.” GROSS.
The worst part? “It went all over yours truly,” she writes. Oh, but it gets worse. “I sleep naked,” Hall explains. “So I was cleaning him with my legs crossed on my bed and his sh*t went all over my tits, my tummy, my pubes and yes… inside me.”
*cue the gagging*
We warned you, right?
“I looked like someone who had just lost a live game show and had a bucket of sh*t thrown at them,” she continues. “But it was so much worse because I could feel it slopping around my poor old vag.”
Yikes! It’s probably fair to say that the last thing any mom wants is to feel their baby’s poop “slopping around” inside their vagina. Luckily, her husband was nearby and able to deal with the poopy baby while she ran to the shower to get it all out so that she wouldn’t get any sort of infection.
While this tale is absolutely disgusting, we’re impressed that Hall was able to make it through such a traumatic ordeal. Hopefully, if there’s a next time, she’ll be awake enough to think of putting on pants (or at least a blanket over her lap) before changing her baby’s diaper. And while we know that dealing with poop is part of the joys of parenthood, poop in the vag shouldn’t have to be.