How to Plan a Gender-Neutral Baby Shower

Move over gender reveal parties, the new baby shower trends are decidedly more laid-back and less focused on the baby's sex.

If you’re planning a gender-neutral baby shower, we're here to help. We’ve spoken to experts who can offer insights on themes, invitations and more.

Why have a gender-neutral baby shower?

While gender-neutral baby showers have been gaining popularity in recent years, they aren’t entirely a new concept.

"There have always been parents who want to celebrate a new life without focusing on the sex of their child," says C.B. Lee, a writer known for young adult and middle-grade fiction. "I think as society has moved towards more balanced views of men and women in relationships, in the workforce, in families, and in general, there's more appreciation of children equally, regardless of what sex they are."

Suzanne Mungalez, PsyD, PMH-C, a clinical psychologist and certified perinatal therapist, believes that the rise of gender-neutral baby showers is an important step towards shifting the focus away from gender during pregnancy.

“This trend encourages us to concentrate on the individual giving birth instead of worrying about what colour onesie the baby will wear,” she says.

Theme ideas for a gender-neutral baby shower

Finding themes for a gender-neutral baby shower doesn’t have to be difficult; using neutral shades and softer colours is often a great foundation.

If you need more ideas, Jenny Dreizen, an etiquette and boundaries expert and the co-founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry, recommends any of these themes.

Woodland creatures

According to Dreizen, hosting a nature-themed baby shower is a fantastic idea because it resonates with many people and features calming hues. She recommends drawing inspiration from forest creatures like deer, birds, foxes and bears.

She suggests, “Decorate your space with tiny pine trees and cuddly toys of woodland animals. Including sweet teddy bears, interactive pop-up tents, rustic wooden elements and whimsical details can create an enchanting atmosphere reminiscent of a magical children’s book.”

You are my moon and stars

A celestial baby shower is another popular shower theme that works well for any gender.

As Dreizen explains, “This theme can be brought to life by using elements like twinkle lights, light catchers, stars, suns and moons. The aim is to craft a charming and celestial ambiance that whisks guests away into a whimsical realm."

Where the Wild Things Are

Children’s books can also be a wonderful source of inspiration for planning a baby shower. “Make the party feel like Max’s whimsical universe from the iconic tale,” she suggests. “You might even create a 2D Wild Thing forest using paper! Plus, keep in mind those sweet closing lines, ‘We’ll eat you up we love you so!’”

Creating the perfect backdrop

A backdrop plays a crucial role in any baby shower, as it sets the mood for the celebration and provides opportunities for fun photos.

To design a backdrop for a gender-neutral baby shower, Lee recommends options like a simple coloured backdrop, a playful balloon arch or themed designs featuring nature or dinosaurs. "These backdrops can effectively unify the party atmosphere and encourage guests to come together," Lee says.

For a touch of elegance, you can also try a French garden-inspired backdrop. Virginia Frischkorn, founder and CEO of Partytrick, a virtual online party planning platform, suggests, "Creating a flower wall or hanging a garland of pastel blooms against a white or cream curtain.

DIY Tip: "Use faux flowers and greenery to make a reusable backdrop. Add Parisian-inspired details like a “Bonjour Bébé” sign in elegant cursive."

Or try a safari-themed backdrop. Frischkorn advises, “Construct a vibrant greenery wall and incorporate wooden animal cutouts or 3D-printed silhouettes of safari creatures.

DIY Tip: "For added texture and ambiance, drape burlap fabric and string up twinkling fairy lights."

Decorations and colour schemes

Going neutral doesn’t have to mean settling for boring. Frischkorn recommends these colour ideas that avoid the typical pink and blue tones:

• Soft pastel colors including lavender, mint green, peach and buttercream yellow.
• Brighten up earthy shades like sage green, terracotta, beige and mustard with hints of burnt orange or gold.
• A combination of whites and grays along with metallic accents (gold or silver) can achieve a sophisticated and understated look.

Decorations that complement the theme

When it comes to decorating, Frischkorn suggests that you should focus on layering different textures and adding elements that enhance the overall atmosphere.

"For instance, if you’re organizing a baby shower with a ‘Le Petit Jardin’ theme, consider using bistro-style tablecloths, elegant vases filled with fresh flowers, and charming vintage teacups or plates," she explains. "On the other hand, if a safari theme is more your style, think about including wooden serving platters, woven baskets and animal figurines or prints."

Eco-friendly ideas

Looking to add eco-friendly touches to your gender-neutral baby shower? Frischkorn offers decoration and favour ideas fit for environmentally-conscious parents.

Decorations

• Use biodegradable balloons or paper garlands instead of plastic ones.
• Opt for reusable items like cloth tablecloths, ceramic dishware and glassware.
• Source flowers from local farms or use potted plants that guests can take home as favours.

Favours

• Mini succulents or herb plants.
• Edible treats in recyclable, reusable or compostable packaging.

Other tips

• Avoid single-use plastics (cutlery, plates, etc.).
• Rent decor or tableware from local vendors instead of buying new items.

Engaging older family members

Those in the family who are more traditional may have difficulty understanding what a gender-neutral baby shower involves. Make older attendees feel part of the celebration with these ideas from Frischkorn.

Start a conversation

Engage older relatives by creating a memory jar. Frischkorn explains, “This is a place where family members can share their parenting stories or provide advice to new parents. Additionally, consider dedicating some time during the event to honour family traditions, such as enjoying a meal together or offering a blessing.”

Honouring legacy

Recognizing legacy is a meaningful way to celebrate family traditions. According to Frischkorn, you can do this by displaying family heirlooms or childhood pictures within your decor. "Also, think about engaging older relatives in the celebration by inviting them to help organize certain activities, such as giving heartfelt toasts or sharing treasured family recipes," she adds.

Invitations and favours

According to Mungalez, the invitations and party favours at a gender-neutral baby shower should focus on celebrating the growing family rather than the baby’s gender.

She suggests, “Invitations can feature themes like becoming a mom or welcoming a new family member. To add a playful touch, she recommends wording such as, “Is it a boy? Is it a girl? Who cares! We’re just thrilled to be starting our journey as a family of three!”

This same philosophy should extend to party favours and gifts. Mungalez notes, “For example, you could offer party favours like polaroid photos with the expectant parent, or create an interactive station where guests can design their own onesies that are not associated with any particular gender but showcase each guest’s creativity.”

Why this trend matters

Gender-neutral baby showers are reshaping our approach to welcoming new life, challenging traditional stereotypes and embracing a more open-minded perspective, according to Mungalez.

"People can't rely on traditional concepts like 'blue for boys and princesses for girls' due to the unknown gender," she explains. "They're invited to accept that a princess doll or pink frilly onesie might be given to a boy and that's okay."

Mungalez also suggests these celebrations prompt us to reconsider gender as a whole. "Even in gendered showers, the child could grow up to be gender non-binary or trans," she says. "Regardless of gender, a girl might love blue and dinosaurs, or a boy might love pink and make-up. As we shed old thinking about gender norms, we stop imposing expectations on children, allowing them to express themselves authentically."

Celebrate the baby but shower the parents

Mungalez opens up about her gender-neutral baby shower experience.

"I didn't know the sex of my own baby before I had him. So at my baby shower, I made sure that the foods and drinks were focused less on the 'it's a boy' or 'it's a girl' aesthetic, and centered more on 'she's a mama!'

My foods were all of my favourite dishes. The drinks were ones I knew my guests would enjoy. And my snacks and favours all highlighted me. It really felt like my own party and I loved it. So much after the birth becomes focused on the baby; it was nice to have one last thing that was for me."

Start planning

If you’re seeking more ideas for a gender-neutral baby shower, there are plenty of resources available online. Check out these Pinterest boards and Instagram posts to gather inspiration as you plan your event.

Pinterest boards

• Gender Neutral Baby Shower by Popitwhenshepops: 580 gender-neutral baby shower ideas.
• Gender Neutral Baby Shower" by Aimbethdesigns: 265 ideas of decorations and setups.
• "Gender Neutral Baby Shower Themes" by Lolo Lucy: 250 gender-neutral baby shower ideas.

Instagram

Hosting a gender-neutral baby shower is a fresh and inclusive way to honour the arrival of a new baby. Although stepping away from traditional customs might feel a bit intimidating at first, it’s important to focus on the main goal of this joyful occasion.

As Mungalez suggests, "There can be a lot of stress around baby showers, especially if doing them differently from the norm. However, you don't have to complicate it for yourself or work harder than you need to—remember, this is your day and it is a celebration of you just as much as it is a celebration of the baby."

Experts

• Virginia Frischkorn is the founder and CEO of Partytrick, a virtual online party planning platform.
• Jenny Dreizen is a modern-day etiquette and boundaries expert; host of Jenny Says So Podcast and over 250+ Simple Scripts to Support Your People, co-founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry.
• C.B. Lee is a writer known for young adult and middle-grade fiction.
• Suzanne Mungalez, PsyD, PMH-C, is a clinical psychologist and certified perinatal therapist.