Helping Your Tween Tackle Puberty Hygiene Without The Cringe

I remember the torture of very active sweat glands and the constant fight to smell fresh when I was 12. Once, in a changeroom at the mall, I noticed that I didn't smell so great. To make up for my deodorant's failings, I applied strawberry lip balm from The Body Shop to my pits.

For any tweens reading this: Adding an oily substance, even one that smells like a field of ripe berries, to sweaty armpits is a mistake. But when you're wading through the weeds of puberty, you'll try anything to feel normal.

Luckily, well-versed parents can help, but it's important to know how. Even parents who vividly remember puberty can make mistakes when trying to support their kids through the cringiest of life changes. So, I spoke with three experts on what tweens and their parents need to know about battling BO, body acne and more (and doing so in ways that empower, not embarrass, kids).

The physical changes tweens experience

Puberty typically starts between the ages of eight and 14. One of the first signs is often increased sweating—just in time for those awkward sex ed classes.

"Puberty is a time of huge transformation, and hygiene changes are often some of the first things kids—and parents—notice," says Dr. Akash Sinha, a Pediatric Endocrinologist at Abbotsford Regional Hospital. "Around this age, hormones start to shift, and that triggers an increase in sweat production, especially in the armpits, groin, and feet," he says.

Sweat basics

Sweating doesn't just happen because of heat or exercise; it can become a nervous response. Think: Seeing your crush in the hall or taking a tough math test. Tweens sweat the most under their arms, from their feet and in the groin area. And those areas start to smell.

“The change is related to more active apocrine glands and a gradual change in the skin's flora,” says dermatologist Dr. Renée A. Beach. “Sweat smells when it mixes with the surface bacteria on our skin.”

Oil production

Puberty hormones bring new activity to the oil-producing glands on the skin. They're most active on the face, scalp, chest and back. All that extra oil can mean clogged pores and acne on the back (often called "bacne"), chest and other parts of the body.

Body hair

When body hair starts to emerge, kids often go from prancing to the shower in the nude to running with a towel and slamming the door. It's normal, but it can feel embarrassing. And the new body hair can lead to more body odour. Hair holds moisture and creates more surface area for bacteria to grow.

Addressing body odour and introducing deodorant

Most kids start developing body odour between the ages of eight and 13. There's no harm in introducing deodorant when the odour starts. If your kiddo is hesitant, frame it as a part of growing up, not a punishment or anything to be ashamed of. And if they're interested, let them pick out the scent and formula.

While there has been concern over the safety of antiperspirant for years, most experts agree that it won't cause cancer or harm your kid (or you). “Deodorant worn in the daytime works to mask odour, but doesn't impact sweat formation or amount. In contrast, antiperspirant is best worn at night and blocks the sweat glands using ingredients like aluminum chloride to stop actual sweating,"  says Dr. Beach.

Sensitive skin is often a bigger concern when choosing a deodorant or antiperspirant. Look for formulas made for sensitive skin with light fragrances (or those that are unscented). And while natural products seem like they'd be less irritating, sometimes too much baking soda can cause skin irritation, so your tween may need to do a bit of trial-and-error testing.

Most importantly, you'll want to make putting on deodorant part of their daily routine. Put the tube on the bathroom counter next to their toothbrush or in their room where they put on clothes. And remind your tween to put it on after having a shower.

What if your kid doesn't want to wear deodorant?

Tweens, as you likely know, aren't always the most cooperative or reasonable people. If they refuse to wear antiperspirant or deodorant? As parenting expert and family counsellor Alyson Schafer says, they may get feedback from people they will listen to: Their peers.

"Sometimes the person who's going to tell you to brush your teeth [or] is not going to be your mom or your dentist. It's going to be the girl you want to kiss," says Schafer.

She says that while, of course, we don't want our kids to be bullied or humiliated, society is somewhat responsible for socializing them, and that's okay.

Managing body acne on the back and chest

Like pimples on the face, body acne is simply a mix of increased oil and dead skin cells leading to clogged pores. Add in bacteria, and you've got acne. The back and chest have many oil glands. Tight clothing like sports bras, sweaty workouts (or just sweaty day-to-day life), and friction from backpacks can make acne even more likely.

What can tweens do about it?

Shower regularly and wash with soap and shampoo. Dirty hair, especially if it's long, can contribute to bacne (and acne on the face). If that doesn't clear it up, wear breathable fabrics, use oil-free lotions, and use over-the-counter acne-fighting products.

"Generally, washing regularly and using agents like salicylic acid (1-2 %) and benzyl peroxide (2-5%) can help. These can be in leave-on preparations like gels or creams, or as washes," says Dr. Beach. "For acne that is persistent or leaving actual scars on the skin, it's best to see a dermatologist for prescription therapy like retinoids (vitamin A derivatives that prevent and clear acne)."

Choosing appropriate body washes and moisturizers

While gentle bubble bath might have been enough to get your little one clean pre-puberty, it may not do the trick for oily skin. Your tween will likely need a good body wash or an old-fashioned bar of soap. Look for ingredients like tea tree oil or clay to help in the soap to fight and dry up acne and excess oil.

Or, as Dr. Beach recommended, look for acne-fighting ingredients like salicylic acid or benzyl peroxide, but be sure to stick to gentle formulas that won't dry out the skin. Dry skin can actually trigger extra oil production, which can lead to even more acne.

So get your kid a body lotion to put on after showering. Simple, unscented options are best. Dr. Beach recommends looking at brands like CeraVe, Cetaphil, Eucerin and Avène for both lotions and shower gels.

The importance of sun protection for the whole body

Sunburns in childhood increase the risk of developing skin cancer later in life, so it's essential to teach your kid good SPF habits and to choose a broad-spectrum sunscreen (one that protects against UVA and UVB rays). Sunburns also lead to premature aging, sun spots and skin damage.

Tweens may know to apply sunscreen to their faces, but they often miss their shoulders, back and legs. These areas can also burn and are often exposed during outdoor activities or sports.

"Sunscreens are only as great as we are at applying them," says Dr. Beach. "In the real world, most people, tweens included, are not going to stop what they're doing and reapply sunscreen to each site. Instead, it's far more practical and convenient to have clothing to cover the skin, better yet, UPF 50+ clothing." She says that UPF 50+ certified clothing blocks about 98 percent of UV rays—a number higher than sunscreens.

How to properly apply sunscreen

• Use at least one ounce (about a shot glass full) of sunscreen for the entire body.
• Use extra sunscreen for the face and neck.
• Reapply every two hours, or more often if swimming or sweating.
• Don’t forget areas like the ears, the back of the neck, the tops of the feet and the back of the knees.

Essential personal hygiene habits

"Tweens should be showering every day, especially after sports or gym class. A gentle soap is fine, and I often tell kids to pay extra attention to their underarms, groin, and feet," says Dr. Sinha. "They should also wear clean clothes and socks every day, and start washing their face twice a day if they’re noticing breakouts. It doesn’t need to be fancy—just consistent."

Dr. Sinha also highlights some of the often-missed but just as essential hygiene tips.  "These habits may seem small, but they really help prevent infections and build a foundation of good self-care," he says. Build these into a simple routine. Print or save the checklist below and share it with your kid.

Clean the easy-to-miss areas

• Wash behind the ears, belly button and under fingernails.
• Thoroughly rinse and completely dry each area to prevent fungal infections and rashes.

Keep feet clean

“Feet and nails are often overlooked,” says Dr. Sinha.

• Feet should be washed daily.
• Dry feet thoroughly (especially between the toes).
• Always wear clean socks.
• Flip flops are a must for public showers and public pools to prevent warts and athlete’s foot.

Teach proper nail care for both fingers and toes

"Tweens should get in the habit of trimming their nails regularly. Dirt and bacteria love to collect under longer nails," says Dr. Sinha.

• Trim nails regularly.
• Clean underneath nails.
• Discourage biting nails or picking at cuticles.

Introduce basic hair and scalp care

• Shampoo two to three times a week, or more often if hair is oily.
• Make sure shampoo and conditioner are thoroughly rinsed to avoid buildup.
• Watch for signs of scalp issues like dandruff or itchiness.

Connecting body care to self-esteem and well-being

Feeling clean and smelling fresh can help kids feel good about themselves. A lot of that comes down to feeling good around their peers, and that's okay. Being clean is good for your health, and it makes it more likely that people will want to spend time with you.

As Schafer says, sometimes kids have to get embarrassed to find the motivation for good hygiene. "Sometimes somebody has to speak up. And it's not always going to be parents. So you've got to leave a little room for mistakes because that's how children learn," she says.

Make it a growth opportunity

Frame these new hygiene responsibilities as a sign of your kid's growing independence. If you don't already, this might be a good time to institute an allowance, says Schafer. And make it clear that it's for buying personal care products. This gives tweens the opportunity to shop for hair gel, deodorant or even menstrual products without having to ask you if they feel uncomfortable about it.

"This stage of life can be emotionally tricky. Kids are becoming more aware of themselves and how others see them," says Dr. Sinha. "If they’re dealing with things like body odour or acne and don’t know how to manage it, it can affect their confidence. But learning how to care for their changing body gives them a sense of control and can boost their self-esteem. It’s not just about staying clean—it’s about helping kids feel capable, respected, and more comfortable in their own skin."

Talking to your tween about body care

Similar to the sex talk, conversations about hygiene and changing bodies can feel totally natural or extremely uncomfortable. To make it feel easy, you should start talking about bodies as early as possible.

"The body talk is something that you can have from a very young age, way before they hit puberty," says Schafer. "Just kind of pick a part of the body and think about it biologically and scientifically, as if you're identifying the different food groups or the different names of the planets or all the other things that we talk to our kids about. The body is just one of those fascinating things."

Then, whether you're talking about elbows, Adam's apples or armpit hair, it doesn't seem like a big deal.

If your kid is already a tween and you haven't been having body talks all their lives? Start now and start with low-stakes stuff like discussing their feet and toenails and why it's important to keep them clean. Then work your way up to the more awkward parts.

You shouldn't be their only source of information

Schafer emphasizes the importance of providing your kids with reliable sources of information other than you. Even if you feel comfortable answering their questions, they might be embarrassed to ask you. Schafer says this isn't a sign of a bad parent-child relationship. It's simply an awkward stage of life.

"I've done work as an ambassador with Kids Health Phone, for example, and it's heartbreaking, says Shafer. "Kids will call and say things like, 'I don't know how to put in a tampon.'"

You don't want your kids landing on unvetted websites or getting their information from the locker room, so talk to them about people they trust, like an aunt or uncle, family friend, teacher or coach. And tell them about resources like Kids Help Phone (kids can call, text or message online) in Canada or the Crisis Text Line in the United States.

The bottom line

The tween years are uncomfortable for everyone, including parents. Make these changes easier with clear communication, lots of support and $20 so your kid can buy their own deodorant if they want.

Help your tween build healthy habits they'll use for life, but be gentle. You know how easy it is to set them off! If they don't listen, they may get feedback from their peers or teachers. And while it might be a bit embarrassing, they'll never forget to wash their feet or brush their teeth again.

Experts

• Alyson Schafer is a parenting expert, family counsellor and on-air personality
• Dr. Renée Beach is an MD and dermatologist at DermAtelier on Avenue in Toronto
• Dr. Akash Sinha is a Pediatric Endocrinologist at Abbotsford Regional Hospital