What Parents Should Learn From Adolescence

“What could the parents have done differently?” That’s one of the questions at the heart of Adolescence, the hit Netflix series that follows a family in the aftermath of their son’s alleged involvement in a classmate’s murder. It’s a question that’s always asked when a child commits a violent act—but in this series, the answer’s muddiness is precisely the point.

Adolescence, which debuted March 13, quickly shot to the top of Netflix’s most-watched charts (the series achieved more views than any of the other streaming service's limited series in a two-week period) and has maintained a stellar score of 99 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Hailed by The Guardian as “the best drama of 2025 so far” and praised by public figures from James Corden to Keir Starmer, the story follows 13-year-old Jamie Miller (Owen Cooper) in the months following his arrest in connection with a classmate's death.

As Jamie awaits trial, the series alternates between his parents’ desperate search for answers and the prosecution's building case against him, both grappling with the unsettling revelation that Jamie's actions may have been shaped by misogynistic online communities—forces neither the family nor the authorities fully understand.

The show has resonated deeply with parents of kids of both genders, even though it centres on the perpetrator and his family, with the impact on the victim’s family in the periphery (an element of the show that has been critiqued).  The resulting conversation is an important one emphasizing the growing threat of incel ideology and the urgent need for families to address online radicalization before things reach a critical point.

Today's Parent spoke to digital safety experts and community support advocates to learn what parents can do to spot red flags, start conversations, and keep their own adolescents safe.

What happens on Adolescence?

Warning: spoilers for the full series ahead!

Adolescence is a four-episode series following a police investigation into the alleged murder of a middle-school girl, Katie, by her classmate. The assault and circumstances leading up to it are initially left unclear as viewers follow the chaotic and emotionally-charged scenes on the morning of Jamie's arrest. Jamie's father Eddie (Stephen Graham) is designated as his adult companion for the proceedings, and his unfolding shock and bafflement are palpable to viewers (each episode is shot in one take—more on that below).

Jamie is no unruly teen: He's a seemingly mild-mannered and still very childlike kid. As the first episode progresses, however, any doubt about his guilt fades, as Detective Inspector Luke Bascombe (Ashley Walters) and Detective Sergeant Misha Frank (Faye Marsay) present Jamie and his father with irrefutable evidence in the form of CCTV footage.

In the second episode, we gain more insight into the investigation as Bascombe visits Jamie’s school, where his own son, Adam (Amari Bacchus), is also a student, to gather information about the murder weapon. The environment is chaotic and the students are unhelpful until Adam volunteers to translate the negative connotations behind certain emojis that Katie had used in comments on Jamie's Instagram.

According to Adam, Katie was publicly labeling Jamie an "incel:" a term (based on a short-form of the words 'involuntary celibate') used to describe men who feel resentful about their lack of romantic or sexual experiences, and associated with violent acts against women in response.

Erin Doherty stars as therapist Briony Ariston in the third episode. She is responsible for conducting a psychological evaluation of Jamie ahead of his trial. During their conversation, Jamie discloses that he attempted to ask Katie out after a topless photo of her was spread among classmates via Snapchat as an act of revenge porn. He explains that he intended to comfort her, but Katie rejected him and subsequently sent the emojis mocking him for his attempt.

Jamie doesn't admit to the crime at any point in the series, but his erratic mood swings punctuated by chair-throwing in this episode reveal a side to him that answers the question most viewers have during the first episode: Could this mild-mannered young boy have done something so horrific?

Finally, the fourth episode offers a lens into the life of the Miller family a year after the attacks, struggling to adapt to life as Jamie approaches his trial. This is when Jamie's parents grapple with their role in the tragedy: What went wrong? Where were the warning signs? They're not questions that they're able to reconcile.

Why is Adolescence such a hit?

Adolescence has been praised for innovation both in terms of the subject matter and the technical production. Variety concisely sums it up as "gutting, raw and stunningly acted," highlighting the stellar performances of the core cast and, notably, their coordination.

Each episode of Adolescence is filmed in a single take, without any stitching of scenes together—despite frequent location changes, chaotic crowd scenes and transfers of perspective. The effect is tangible realism: As the Los Angeles Times put it, "when an image never cuts, the viewer, like the characters, is trapped in their world."

Beyond the official critical praise, the show has been hailed extensively by viewers and on social media, as well as by digital safety experts. "As a mom of a 16-year-old boy, it absolutely hit home," shared Titania Jordan, author of the new book Parental Control: A Guide to Raising Balanced Kids in the Digital Era and an executive at the parental control app Bark.

Jordan, who posted her five key takeaways from the show on Instagram, described the feedback as charged in both directions: "It was everything from "that's four hours of my life that I'll never get back" to "that was the most beautiful, powerful piece of cinema I've experienced in years, and it has gutted me." Opinions aside, Jordan says, one thing's for sure: Her DMs lit up with parents who'd been spurred to seek advice regarding online safety for their teens.

How realistic is Adolescence?

Is Adolescence based on a true story? Not exactly, but as co-creator Stephen Graham has explained, the show mirrors trends both worldwide (discussions on toxic social media influences bring to mind the infamous Andrew Tate) and local to the U.K. (knife crime, which has become more visible in recent years).

The series doesn't need to be entirely rooted in reality, though, for it to echo real-time trends and anxieties. According to Olivia Boukydis, the interim chair of Community Social Services at the University of Guelph-Humber, the show successfully underscores the fact that dangerous online influences don’t always appear overtly harmful or come with an 'NSFW' label.

"A big challenge for parents is the realization that not everything can fall within their purview in terms of their ability to protect their kids," Boukydis says. "I think what this show certainly reveals is that content doesn't need to be in-your-face alarming or explicit to be harmful. It can come in more subtle forms."

According to Jordan (whose app Bark measures cyberbullying situations in real time), that's precisely why parents need to educate themselves about the most up-to-date digital risks and online communication trends with young people. “The show was accurate in terms of conveying the cyberbullying that's happening," she says. "Kids are really mean to each other online.”

She also points to significance in the story of the coded language parents often miss, in particular the use of emojis that carry hidden (and inappropriate) messages. As a mom, though, the most realistic aspect of the series for her may be the sense of helplessness among parents it reflects: “We’ve given our kids access. We don’t know what to do. We don’t know how to dial it back. We don’t know how to make it safer.”

Jordan isn't the only digital safety expert who thinks Adolescence captures a harsh parenting reality. "It was so on-the-nose how Jamie's parents were generally well-meaning and very 'normal,' and yet the worst of parenting catastrophes landed on their doorstep," says Yaron Litwin, chief marketing officer of Canopy, another digital parental monitoring app. "They weren't 'bad parents '; they were typical parents! I think that is what is going to stick with viewers long after they see the series."

What can parents learn from Adolescence?

Particularly internet-savvy (or news-attuned) parents will be familiar with incel culture in broad terms. "They've probably heard the term toxic masculinity, but they don't really understand the term 'incel'. They don't really know what that means," says Jordan. Litwin echoes a similar sentiment: "A few years ago, it wasn't as much of a known phenomenon. In recent years, we have definitely seen more concern and questions into how Canopy may be able to help against such content, and how to engage in 'digital parenting' in general."

Apps like Canopy and Bark are one tool in parents' belts for keeping their kids safe online, but even their proponents stress that the overall approach has to be much broader—and aimed at fostering digital literacy, open communication, and proactive involvement. "It is not enough to install parental controls," says Yaron Litwin. "It is crucial for parents to be involved in their kids' lives enough to pick up on troubling signs, promote digital literacy and keep an open, honest dialogue about all important and difficult topics, like the ones portrayed in Adolescence."

Jordan, herself a parent of an adolescent boy, agrees—and urges parents not to brush off the provocative scenes in the show. "You know in the end of the show, where the parents are just grieving?" she says, pointing to the series' emotionally-charged final scenes that depict Jamie's parents desperately trying to identify their own errors and coming up short.

At one point in the conversation, it's mentioned that Jamie spent most of his time closed up in his bedroom on the computer, and this is where Jordan says they made a grave error: "The parents are grieving over the fact that they thought their son was safe in his room, but he wasn't, because he had unfettered access to tech. So what this series needs to do is compel parents do is to not allow connected tech in the bedrooms. You can't just hand them the open internet and think 'my kid would never', because good kids make bad choices, and they're all very easily influenced."

Those perspectives aren't just anecdotal—Boukydis, who has worked with youth in the U.K. as well as North America, says that parents and society as a whole tend to be reactive rather than proactive when it comes to harmful online influences. “Our mind is occupied more towards explicit, in-your-face, more alarming content,” she says. “As a result, we move away from creating space for some of these more subtle influences.” She points to figures like Andrew Tate, whose rhetoric only became a mainstream concern once its effects on young boys were undeniable worldwide, and emphasizes that parents shouldn’t just monitor their children’s online activity—they should actively engage with it.

“Co-viewing and showing interest in what your kids are watching can help foster conversations about content," Boukydis explains, and even allows parents to reflect on their own digital habits. “If kids can observe what their parents are doing and watch them explain, ‘I engage with this content, but now I realize it places too much pressure on me’… it models for them what it means to set boundaries.”

Who can support concerned parents?

"If your parental gut or your radar is raised and you're concerned, don't hesitate," says Jordan—and don't make the mistake of trying to handle everything in-house. "Have your child talk to a trusted adult who isn't you, whether it's their pediatrician, school counsellor or a therapist if you can afford one," she suggests. "They're skilled at getting children to open up and talk about some of the things they've been exposed to. Sometimes our kids tune us out as parents, but they'll listen to other adults they trust."

Boukydis says the same, and also emphasizes that parents themselves should build their own sympathetic connections and communities to better support their children. "I think parenting can feel like a siloed experience, where you're doing everything wrong. Finding connections themselves to share resources, support and feedback can be a really helpful place to start," she says.

Read up on digital literacy too: She suggests mediasmarts.ca, the American Academy of Pediatrics and School Mental Health Ontario as good starting places to look for all-ages-appropriate literature. And don't forget good old social media, where groups like Jordan's Parenting in a Tech World Facebook page provides a free forum for concerned parents to connect.

Finally, Jordan says, don't overlook the resource sitting right under your nose: The kid in question. "Let them know. 'Hey, I just saw this show, and it has really shaken me. And I want to know, have you seen anything like this online? Are your friends talking about this?'" she encourages. "Talk to them, instead of talking at them or lecturing them, and let them know that they're a safe place. You're not asking them this to catch them and to punish them—you're asking them because you're worried and you care."