Self-Care Sunday with Allison: Finding Your Practice

Hello friends, and welcome here.

I hope this finds you so well. I'm sure that as you read this, some of you are away from your regular life, travelling, taking a break from work, or just taking a break from your routine.

I noticed in the early weeks of summer just how much I rely on my routine to keep me grounded. While, at first, I started to feel that this was a bad thing, that internal voice started telling me that I should be freer and more able to go with the flow; I realized that there is room for both over these upended summer months: A chance to go with the flow, be out of routine and allow for the kind of spontaneity that only comes in summer, but also to lean into the practices that I know work to maintain a sense of inner calm and groundedness.

That's one of the things I've come to realize as I've entered this decade of my life: that while there is still much for me to learn, heal, and grow, there are certain practices and routines that work for me, and they are there to support me, rather than put pressure on me. So why not lean on them?

I recently saw a meme on social media that said you need three wins each day to feel at peace at the end of the day: One physical win, one mental/creative win and one spiritual win. This made so much sense to me when I thought about it that I added it as a checklist at the top of my To Do list on the notes app on my phone as a reminder that if I'm able to check at least one of those off each day, then I've won the day.

I even shared the idea with my nine-year-old son, and he loved the idea so much that we put it on our kitchen whiteboard for him to check in with every day. A physical win for him might be just playing soccer; a mental win would be some reading; a spiritual win for him would be anything from helping someone, showing gratitude, or spending time drawing, which he finds to be meditative. Now, at the end of the day, we check in with each other to see how our Daily Wins are going.

On a weekday for me, my Daily Wins Practice would look like this:

Physical Win

Completing a 30-minute strength workout and a walk, or a yoga practice and a walk (which can double as a spiritual win due to its meditative quality—hello, efficiency!). It might be a bit of yoga or just playing with my kids on weekends.

Mental Win/Creative Win

Completing a work task for my day job as communications manager at Pantree or working on my private writing, yoga, and workshop offerings. On weekends, I do ten minutes of reading or listening to a podcast where I learn something, or I create a beautiful dinner for my family from whatever we happen to have in the fridge that inspires me.

Spiritual Win

Meditating in some way, shape, or form. This comes in so many different ways for me. Sometimes, it's listening to a guided meditation (while lying down, in the shower, or on a walk) or just walking silently without my phone and seeing what comes through. On other days, I do an oracle card reading and then automatic writing in my notebook to see what guidance is there for me.

It has taken me over a decade to hone in on these practices and figure out what works best for me: my body, mind, and spirit. But the effort has been worth it, so I share it with you today. If you feel out of sorts because you're off your routine and can't seem to get the ground beneath your feet, see if you can take this uncertainty to fuel your curiosity to help you find your practice.

It doesn't have to look like anything you see on any media. In fact, unless it feels uplifting to you, please don't try to do anything because of what someone else across a screen is telling you to do, including me. Instead, this is merely an invitation to think about the simplest things that you can do each day to bring you a sense of peace, a sense of groundedness, a sense of accomplishment, and a sense of joy and then find a rhythm for those practices that feels supportive and fun rather than a task that you dread.

Reflection Prompt Of The Month

This month, I would love to invite you to write or reflect on what 3 wins you can work towards each day, or maybe even just each weekday, so that you can establish for yourself what lends a rhythm to your life that works to uplift you, rather than make you feel like you're not doing enough. Remember, this can change with the seasons, both in the natural world and the seasons of your life.

So, ask yourself:

• What is a daily physical win that I can achieve that feels good to me and is achievable without putting pressure on myself? That could be a 30-minute walk, stretching, or taking an extra five minutes in the shower. You know best what your body needs.
• What is a daily mental/creative win that I can achieve? One that will make me feel like I'm putting into action—even in the smallest of ways—the parts of me that feel inspired to create or to use the unique parts of my mind?
• What daily spiritual win do I want to incorporate into my life? First, you should come to terms with the fact that this aspect of our lives is important because it is. If calling it spiritual is not your thing, call it anything else that works for you: an inner win, a mindfulness win, a self-love win. Living externally without taking the time to go inward, even if it's five minutes of quiet breathing to ask yourself what it is you need right now, is not only an act of self-love and self-care, but it is how we go about living our lives with intention and presence, and it's how we evolve. It is how we process big life moments, how we heal from past pain and trauma, and it's how we move through grief. It is an essential part of conscious living.

It's said that Socrates taught that an unexamined life is not worth living, and this is what he meant.

I've permitted myself to pause this summer from the output I've been working towards all year. There is power in the pause.

I am not concentrating so much on what I'm doing "out there" right now—in terms of career, next steps in my private practice, etc.—as I am concentrating on what is happening "in here." This is where my routine and daily wins have been so helpful because they quell any anxiety that I need to be "doing more." If I tick those boxes, even in some small way, I'm doing enough to maintain my real-life responsibilities as a mother, friend, wife, and employee. The rest of the time, I'm free to turn my attention inward to bring more energy and awareness to my healing, self-care, and personal evolution.

The parts of me and of you that rely on outward productivity and busyness to feel okay are probably railing at that idea, even as you read the words. But it's a place we all eventually reach at one point in our lives, where we know that if we push on one more step, it will take us ten times longer to get where we want to go. The well runs dry and is in need of replenishing. That is what the summer is all about. So turn your face to the sun, surrender to the pace, and let the energy fill you up and lift you up so that you will be ready when the next phase of life demands more energy and output.

For more on this topic, you can head over to my socials to see how I find ways to keep my daily practice going, even when I'm out of routine and up at the cottage with my kids. This is where the idea came to me of what to write about this topic since I can't be the only one if I'm struggling to keep a sense of routine going. I hope this helps you find your own daily wins and supports you in whatever this finds you.

Until next time, be well.

Allison