How to make mom friends when you're an introvert

Monica Reyes shares her struggles to make new friends with other moms-to-be.
Pregnancy-September2013-iStockphoto

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Monica Reyes resides in Vancouver with her husband and neurotic dog. She’s also a soon-to-be first-time mom who is excited and terrified about her new life. Follow along as she shares her pregnancy journey.

Being childless for a number of years, I found it hard to relate to those who had kids. If someone had a baby, I wondered if we’d still keep in touch. People with babies seem to drop off the face of the earth because it’s their new life and, to be fair to them, pretty time consuming. When you try to make the effort to stay connected, planning to get together is a nightmare. Busy schedules and fixed nap and bedtimes get in the way. When you are finally able to catch up, the conversation is mostly about their kids. It’s not a subject I found interesting until I wanted kids of my own. Eventually you give up trying to make plans.

I’m the first one in my close circle of girlfriends to have a baby. I don’t want to bombard them with baby talk (I could talk for hours about babies and pregnancy now!), and I want to hear about other people’s experiences. Every pregnancy is different so it’s interesting to compare notes. As a new mom, feeling isolated is a big worry of mine. I don’t want to be stuck in my apartment waiting for my husband to get home just so I can have someone to talk to. So the hunt is on to try and find mom friends. The only word to describe this experience is… awkward.

It feels a little bit like dating. You look for a certain criteria to see if they’re a good fit for you. I’m looking for someone who is close to my due date so our kids can socialize and that we have similar interests. Because eventually I’ll want to talk about non-baby stuff.

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I’m an introvert by nature and extremely shy. It takes a long time for me to warm up to people and just relax around them. This attribute doesn’t help at all when trying to make friends. I’ve joined meet-ups, I’m attending a great prenatal class and doing prenatal yoga on weekends. So far the most promising one in the friendship-making department is my prenatal class. It’s the same group of people and we have discussions in class so we get to know everyone. So far there’s only been two classes and I haven’t worked up the courage to ask someone on a friend date. I’ve heard people have made friends at yoga classes, but because there’s not as much interaction with others, I’m not too sure how to start up a conversation.

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I’m hoping to have a few mom friends before I give birth so that I have someone I can swap stories with. I’m lucky that I’m not completely alone in my journey. One of my co-workers is due in a few weeks and we’ve become closer as we’re both in the same boat. I just need to try and overcome my shyness so I can expand my circle of moms.

Did you have to make mom friends? Any tips?

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