Whether you practice hygge, sit by a fireplace, or drink a cup of hot cocoa, it is important to take steps that make your world warmer as the weather gets colder.
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Hello friends!
Welcome back to Self-Care Sunday. I don't know about you, but for me, it has felt like the colder weather has kind of crept up on us. Maybe it's because we've been spoiled with a milder winter, and somehow, my body has gotten used to it. Perhaps it's perimenopause. Maybe it's just that I've had my head down juggling the increasing demands of work and parenting–sports schedules, laundry, dinner making, Halloween decorating–that the time flew by and when I looked back up, it was October.
Either way, it's colder now; it's getting darker. Although I love the beautiful colours of autumn and the coming of sweater weather, I've also learned that, especially as someone who works from home, I need to take extra steps for self-care starting now in order to ward off the potential to fall into seasonal depression.
It wasn't until last year (they do say that once you turn 40, all of the changes start to set in, and I think I'm walking proof of this) that I began to experience the effects of seasonal affective disorder or SAD. In previous years, I had always loved the colder weather and wasn't affected by the shorter days and decrease in sunlight, but all of a sudden, last October, I felt truly sad.
It would creep in usually after my husband and children left for work and school, and I was alone in the house with nothing but a day's work and a mountain of laundry ahead of me without my usual sunny, warm walks to break up the day. I felt increasingly depressed and unmotivated, with a sense of anxiety that I couldn't shake, and truly, nothing had changed in my routine but the weather and the time of year. And that's when I realized I needed to try to do something to get me out of this pattern, or it would be a very, very long winter.
iStockI started doing some research and pulling from my already self-care toolkit. I delved into ideas about how the Danish practice of hygge (pronounced hoo-gah) could be helpful in offsetting what was becoming a daily dose of darkness that definitely needed an infusion of light to offset it. Think of being in a cozy room, a fire glowing, or maybe a candle, or both; you're reading a book, or you're watching your favourite movie; chores are done, dinner is in the oven, and you don't have to do anything but cuddle up for the evening with you and your favourite people (or blissfully alone); the day is done and you're not thinking about the next one, you're just in the moment and all is well in that moment. Imagine this entire scene wrapped up in a feeling; as I understand it, this is hygge.
Hygge is a concept and a tradition that originates in Denmark. Although there is no direct English translation, the essence is to embrace moments of coziness, of both physical and emotional warmth, and to slow down and ease into what is, into the present moment, to cultivate a sense of inner peace. The idea of hygge has become more prevalent in North America in recent years, as more people have discovered the benefits of this mindset.
If it works for the Danish to ward off SAD (who only get a few hours of daylight in the colder months), I figured it certainly couldn't hurt to try it. What I found was that especially if you're working inside the home, whether as a remote worker or as a full-time caregiver, these small practices are so helpful when you don't get the added benefits of socializing in a workplace setting every day in order to break you out of the routine and habits of being in the home, regardless of the season but especially in the fall and winter.
So with this idea of hygge in mind, I started by adjusting my morning routine after everyone left the house, because this seemed to be when it all set in. Rather than hitting the ground running with flipping the laundry, tidying up the breakfast dishes, and starting into my work day, I took 30 minutes to set up an intentional atmosphere of coziness throughout the house.
iStockI turned on the lamps to create a sense of a warm glow wherever I went, especially on the more blah, grey sky days, whether it was to the bathroom, the kitchen or the kid's bedrooms. I also lit a candle and had it going pretty much throughout the day in both the kitchen (where I work) and the hallway. We have an electric fireplace in our living room that I would leave on for that added touch, and the final piece was to put on soft background music.
Some days it was piano jazz (this one is on heavy rotation in our house), and some days, it was a playlist of soothing Solfreggio frequencies like this list which are proven to help cultivate inner equilibrium.
Once I'd knocked a few things off the to-do list, I would meditate. We all know by now that meditation is essential for brain health, nervous system regulation, mood regulation, and offsetting anxiety and depression. So, if you feel a downward shift starts to happen right about now as the months get cold and the days get shorter, I highly encourage you to try meditation if it's not something you have already practiced. The scientific benefits are well documented, but it's also just common sense.
Taking even 5 minutes to settle your mind through breath or guided visualization only has an upside. This 15-minute meditation specifically for Winter Blues by Mindful in Minutes can be used as often as you like from now until April. If you're still saying to yourself, nope, meditation is not for me, then here is a really lovely Fall Walking Meditation by Mindful in Minutes, which you can do as you crunch your way through the fallen leaves–two birds, one stone.
This brings me to the next aspect of hygge that I've carried into my cold weather self-care practice: to embrace nature in all its facets, regardless of what it's doing outside and appreciate what it has to teach us. Walking for at least 30 minutes before 1 pm each day in order to harness the benefits of the sunlight that we do get, as well as the fresh air and the chance to appreciate the change of the seasons, is a non-negotiable for me.
iStockBeyond supporting my physical health, these walks are an opportunity to learn from nature itself as to what we are naturally supposed to be doing at this time of year. We are supposed to slow down, to surrender, and to let go. If we look at the animals and the birds preparing to be more still and the trees shedding their leaves to become dormant before they bloom again, we are given a clear example to tell us that this isn't the time to do more. It's a time to do less, to hunker down and get ready for slower days, to turn inward (literally and figuratively), and to flow with the cold and the dark rather than fight it.
Another way to do this is to bring nature inside. I'm a big proponent of buying yourself flowers as a small but regular self-care practice, but this doesn't have to be relegated to the spring and summer. In fact, it can be a really simple way to continue to be creative and connect with your inner feminine energy (which, as a reminder, is something we all have regardless of gender).
In October, I like to switch my indoor flowers from roses to a combination of baby's breath and eucalyptus. If you want to go a step further, I also like to hang a bunch of eucalyptus from my shower head so that it basically feels like I'm living in a spa between the scented candles and the background music and flowers. It might sound woo-woo or self-indulgent, but I promise you that these small acts of love and kindness for yourself can go such a long way in supporting your well-being over the next months.
Lastly, my way last year of bringing hygge into my home (in my own interpretation of it) was to find ways to extend this offering to my husband and children. I wanted as many of our evenings as possible to feel like a Saturday night slumber party, regardless of whether it was a weeknight or the weekend.
So starting right before Halloween, once homework was done and dishes were put away, we all changed into pjs, turned out the lights, and cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie that was entertaining for all of us (this is key–it has to be for everyone's delight, not just the kids). We started with Hocus Pocus (because, well, obviously) and then worked our way through the Lord of The Rings, The Hobbits, and Harry Potter, which took us until New Year's Eve.
iStockEven if we managed to do this for a half hour, 3 or 4 nights a week, the bonding, the connection, and the shared sense of peace and ease we all had from knowing that at a certain time, we would just come together and sink into the moment, shutting out the outside world, was palpable.
As I write this today, I can see leaves falling off the tree outside my window. The candle beside me smells like pumpkin pie, and the sky is a greyish blue. I can practically feel the mix of cold and late afternoon sun already, and I imagine what it will be like to step outside when I get the kids from school.
But I know now that I didn't know last year, or maybe had forgotten, that there is natural beauty in what this shift in the weather and the routine means if you can find it. Rather than dreading it, these practices I leaned into last year are lighting me up. I'm looking forward to seeing my little one's face when I tell him that tonight is movie night.
I'm looking forward to throwing a lasagna in the oven and the smell of broiling cheese in the air. I'm looking forward to going to bed a tad earlier and waking up, knowing that my day, while not without its challenges) will also meet me with the soft glow of a candle and the chance to, as ever, sink more deeply into what is and find peace in the presence there.
I hope that you might find the same light and the same coziness in some of these practices to help you practice an extra dose of self-care in the coming months. This is, if nothing else, your monthly reminder that self-care is self-love, and without being able to offer yourself that care, it's nearly impossible to sustain offering it to others.
Until next time, be so well.
Allison
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Allison McDonald Ace is a YA Certified Yin & 200 HR Vinyasa & Hatha Yoga instructor, published author and expressive writing workshop facilitator. She is passionate about turning her own healing practices and experiences into offerings to help others on their journey.