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Family life

Why Parents Need To Make Self-Care A Priority

If doing it for your own benefit isn’t enough, do it for your kids. Learn how to fill your cup for a happy family.

A woman holds a mug in her hand. She wears sweats.

Parenting young children is one of the most rewarding roles a person can have, but it’s also among the most demanding. From sleepless nights with infants to managing the boundless energy of toddlers and preschoolers, parents are often pulled in multiple directions at once. In the whirlwind of caregiving, working and managing household responsibilities, self-care can feel like an afterthought—or even a luxury. However, self-care is not a selfish act; it is an essential practice that enables parents to show up for their children in the best possible way.

When parents prioritize their well-being, they model healthy habits for their children and build the resilience needed to tackle the many challenges of raising young kids.

What is self-care?

Self-care refers to the intentional actions people take to preserve and enhance their physical, emotional and mental health. For parents, self-care can include a wide range of activities, from ensuring they eat nutritious meals and get enough sleep to pursuing hobbies, exercise or taking a few minutes for quiet reflection.

Despite its importance, self-care is often misunderstood. Many parents may feel guilty for taking time for themselves, worrying it detracts from their responsibilities to their children. In reality, self-care strengthens a parent’s ability to meet their children’s needs. It is about recharging your internal batteries so that you can give your best to your family.

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Why self-care is essential for parents

Preventing burnout

Parenting young children is both physically and emotionally exhausting. Without regular opportunities to rest and recharge, parents can experience burnout, which may manifest as irritability, exhaustion or feelings of inadequacy. Burnout not only affects parents’ well-being but can also impact the emotional climate of the entire household.

By carving out time for self-care, parents can replenish their energy, reduce stress, and maintain the stamina required for the long journey of parenting.

Modelling healthy behaviours

Children learn a great deal from observing their parents. When parents prioritize self-care, they send a powerful message to their children about the importance of valuing one’s health and well-being. This can help kids develop their own self-care habits as they grow.

For example, when a parent takes time to exercise or engage in a creative hobby, they show their child that pursuing personal interests is important. Similarly, when parents set boundaries and say no to overcommitments, they teach children the importance of balancing obligations with self-preservation.

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Supporting emotional regulation

Parenting can be overwhelming, especially when young children have tantrums, refuse to cooperate, or demand constant attention. In such moments, parents need emotional reserves to stay calm and respond with patience.

Engaging in regular self-care activities, such as mindfulness, exercise, or connecting with a supportive friend, helps parents regulate their own emotions. This, in turn, allows them to model healthy coping mechanisms for their children during challenging situations.

Strengthening relationships

When parents are stressed or exhausted, their relationships—with partners, children, and others—can suffer. By prioritizing their own needs, parents can nurture a stronger connection with their children and partners.

Self-care helps parents approach family interactions with greater empathy, energy, and presence. Instead of running on empty and merely surviving the day, parents who practice self-care are better positioned to enjoy meaningful, positive moments with their loved ones.

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Overcoming barriers to self-care

Despite its benefits, many parents struggle to make time for self-care. Common barriers include:

Guilt: Parents often feel that prioritizing themselves takes time away from their children.

Time constraints: Between work, caregiving, and household duties, finding free time can feel impossible.

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Cultural expectations: Some societal norms glorify self-sacrifice in parenting, making self-care seem like an indulgence.

To overcome these barriers, parents can shift their mindset. Self-care is not an act of neglecting your family; it’s an investment in your ability to care for them. Small, consistent steps can make self-care manageable, even in a busy schedule.

Practical tips for incorporating self-care

1. Start small

Self-care doesn’t have to mean hours at the spa or an elaborate daily routine. Even a few minutes a day can make a difference. Start with simple actions, such as drinking water, stretching, or taking a short walk.

2. Schedule it

Treat self-care like any other essential appointment. Block out time for it on your calendar and honour that commitment. This could mean waking up 15 minutes earlier for quiet reflection or setting aside time during your child’s nap for a hobby you enjoy.

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3. Build a support network

Reach out to friends, family, or local parenting groups for support. Whether it’s swapping babysitting duties with a neighbour or simply having someone to talk to, a strong support network can make self-care more accessible.

4. Share responsibilities

Parenting is a team effort. If you have a partner, communicate openly about sharing household and caregiving duties. This not only lightens the load but also gives each parent time to focus on their well-being.

5. Seek professional help when needed

Sometimes, self-care means reaching out for professional support. This might include therapy, counselling, or consulting a doctor for physical health concerns. Seeking help is a proactive step toward maintaining overall well-being.

Self-care is not a luxury for parents of young children—it’s a necessity. By prioritizing their physical, emotional, and mental health, parents can prevent burnout, model healthy behaviours, and build stronger relationships with their children and partners.

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Incorporating self-care into a busy life may take effort and creativity, but the benefits are undeniable. When parents care for themselves, they are better equipped to navigate the joys and challenges of parenting, creating a healthier and happier home for their families.

This article was originally published on Dec 19, 2024

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Stefanie Peachey is a Registered Social Worker and Accredited Family Mediator. She is the founder of Peachey Counselling and Family Support in Burlington, ON. Through her work as a mental health professional, Stefanie’s goal is to normalize the reality that everyone faces challenges. When you are struggling, it’s easy to assume you are the only one with problems. However the truth is quite the opposite. At some point or another, we all face issues and could use some support. As a working mother of four children, 10 and under, Stefanie really understands the daily challenges of taking care of yourself and others while trying to maintain a sense of purpose and balance. Life is amazing and wonderful but it’s also busy and messy and at some point, we all face challenges. Whether that be navigating a difficult separation and divorce, an abusive partner or mental health concerns, Stefanie believes having a sense of control when faced with change and disruption is one of the keys to staying resilient and positive. Through her work, she empowers people of all ages with tools and coping skills that allow them to move through life ,with confidence and courage. Stefanie believes that with proper support, anyone who is motivated, can create positive change in their relationships and their life. She also feels that everyone should have access to affordable counselling, whether in person or online. Her specialized services include Separation and Divorce Counselling, Parenting Plan Assessments, Mediation for Parenting Plans, Co-Parent Counselling, Collaborative Law and Voice of Child Reports. Workshops and online courses available include Kids First Co-Parenting, Respectful Relationships Group and Mental Health for the Workplace program. You can learn more at www.peacheycounselling.ca.

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