Understanding Family Relationships: What Is My Cousin's Child to Me?

Exploring your family tree can be exciting, but it's easy to get lost in the maze of branches and connections. As you navigate through the generations of aunts, uncles and cousins, you might wonder, "What do I call my cousin's child?"

To help you solve this genealogical puzzle, we'll break down what this term means and shed light on some fascinating aspects of family relationships that might just surprise you. We'll also share some expert-approved tips on creating your own family tree.

Understanding cousin relationships

To determine what your cousin's child is to you, it's important to take a closer look at your family tree. Just as there are great-aunts and great-uncles in different generations, there are also different types of cousins. Tasha M. Brown, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist, says the most common types of cousins you'll encounter include first cousins, second cousins, third cousins and beyond.

"First cousins are the children of your aunts and uncles, and you both share a set of grandparents," Brown explains. "Second cousins are the children of your parents' first cousins, and you share a set of great-grandparents. Third cousins would be the children of your parents' second cousins, and you share a set of great-great-grandparents with them."

Brown also points out that generational differences play a major role in family dynamics. "Generational differences in cousin relationships can impact caregiving roles," she says. "The greater the generational gap between cousins, the more likely there is to be decreased closeness due to age, distance, and other factors."

What is a first cousin once removed?

Understanding your first cousin once removed starts with grasping the meaning of removed in family relationships. Brown explains that the term 'removed' simply indicates the number of generations separating two relatives.

"For instance, 'twice removed' signifies a two-generation gap," she says. "This concept helps distinguish between direct cousin relationships and those that span different generations. A simple example is your first cousin's child – they are your first cousin once removed."

Lauren Befus, the founder and family biographer of Memory Lane Jane, also points out that your parent's cousin is your cousin once removed since they are one generation older than you. "For example, my father has three cousins," she says. "They are my cousins 'once removed' because they are a generation older than me."

Other common cousin relationships

First cousins "These are the children of your aunt or uncle (your parent's sibling)," says Befus. "You and your first cousin share the same set of grandparents."

Second cousins According to Befus, second cousins are the children of your parent’s cousins. "Unlike first cousins who share a grandparent, you and your second cousin share the same set of great-grandparents," she explains.

Third cousins While you might not know them personally, your third cousins are actually the children of your parents’ second cousins. "This means that you and your third cousin share a common set of great-great-grandparents," says Befus.

Double first cousins A double first cousin is someone who is related to you through both sides of your family. This means that you share both sets of grandparents with them.

Removed relationships A cousin once removed is simply the child of your cousin or the cousin of your parent. According to Befus, "For example, if your cousin has a child, that child is your cousin once removed."

Twice removed refers to a difference of two generations. "For instance, your second cousin twice removed would be the great-grandchild of your second cousin or the second cousin of one of your grandparents," adds Befus.

How to Trace Cousin Relationships

Identify common ancestors To find out how you are related to your cousins, start by looking for your common ancestors. Befus recommends that you identify shared ancestors like grandparents or great-grandparents between you and the other person. "This step is crucial because it helps clarify your family connections," she says.

Count the generations Once you've found your common ancestors, it's time to count generations. Here's what to do:

1. Count the generations between you and the common ancestor.
2. Count the generations between your potential cousin and the same ancestor.

Befus advises, "This counting process is key to understanding how you're related."

Determine the cousin degree The number of generations between you and your closest relative, who shares a common ancestor with you, determines how closely related you are as cousins.

According to Befus, ‘The more generations apart you are, the more distant the cousin.’ You can also describe your relationship as ‘once removed’ or ‘twice removed’ if that applies to your situation. Most family tree programs allow you to specify these relationships easily."

The Importance of Understanding Family Relationships

Connection to family roots and traditions Understanding family relationships helps strengthen your connection to your family roots and traditions. According to Befus, ‘Extended families—grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and beyond—pass down traditions, languages, rituals, and stories that shape our identities as individuals and communities. These connections are vital because they enrich our lives with shared experiences and values."

Support network Family relationships are more than just connections; they're a powerful support network, according to Befus. "In many cultures, extended family isn't just a group of distant relatives," she explains. "It's a vital system that shapes our emotional, financial, and social lives. These bonds offer a sense of belonging and stability, while family members often provide practical support, share wisdom, and act as mentors during challenging times."

Identity and connection "Extended family relationships play a vital role in helping us feel connected to one another,” explains Befus. “They give us a sense of where we fit within our family’s story and how we relate to the world around us. When we gather around the dinner table, sharing stories and memories, we tap into something much larger than ourselves—a family legacy that has been passed down through generations."

Life enrichment Understanding family relationships enriches the lives of all family members. According to Befus, "Extended family members bring diverse experiences and perspectives that enhance individual lives. By interacting with relatives from different generations and backgrounds, family members gain valuable opportunities for learning and growth."

Creating a cousin family tree

Start with a goal

Before you start creating your family tree, it’s important to decide what you want to achieve with it. Befus recommends asking yourself a few key questions: Are you planning to include all your cousins, just your first cousins, or even second and third cousins? "Understanding your goals will help you focus your research efforts," she explains.

Gather information

After deciding on the purpose of your family tree, Befus says it’s time to gather information from your relatives. "Start by talking to your parents, grandparents, or older family members who may have important stories about your family’s history," she says. "Look for items like family Bibles, old letters, or photographs that include names, dates, and relationships."

You also don’t want to forget to ask your cousins for their input. "They might have names, dates, and stories about their own branches of the family that can enrich your research," Befus explains.

Organize by generations

After gathering information from your family members, start creating your family tree by organizing it by generations. "Begin with a common ancestor, such as a grandparent or great-grandparent," Befus says. "From there, create branches for each child of that ancestor. Each branch represents one family, and you can list their children as cousins in the next generation."

Use a family tree template or software

Hand-drawn family trees are special and creative designs that tell personal stories. However, Befus suggests that using software can make it easier to update and share these trees with others. She recommends platforms like MyHeritage, Canva, and Ancestry.com for managing family history more efficiently.

Include photos and stories

"Adding photos, stories, or interesting facts about each cousin (or branch) can also make your family tree more engaging and meaningful," Befus says. "This brings the connections to life, turning names into real people."

Highlight cousin relationships

To keep your family tree organized, consider using colour-coding or labels to show how each cousin is connected to you. Befus suggests, "For instance, you might use one colour for first cousins who share a grandparent and another for second cousins who share a great-grandparent. This way, it’s easier to see the relationships at a glance."

Share and collaborate

After you’ve labelled and colour-coded your family tree, Befus suggests that you create a digital version for everyone in the family to see. "This way, your family members can easily view, edit, and add their own information," she says. "You might even want to organize a cousin reunion or a virtual meet-up! It would be a fantastic opportunity to present the tree and gather more details from everyone."

Preserve and update

Once you finish creating your family tree, it’s important to preserve and update it regularly. According to Befus, a family tree is like a living document that reflects your family’s history. She suggests updating it whenever new cousins are born or when you discover more about your extended family. "To ensure your family tree lasts for future generations, save your work in multiple formats—such as digital files, printed copies, and cloud storage," she suggests.

Other tips for creating a cousin family tree

Color-code or use symbols

To easily identify each cousin on your family tree, try using color codes or symbols. As Befus suggests, “Use different colors or symbols to highlight removed relationships. This makes it easy to distinguish them from your direct first cousins. You can also use dashed lines or shaded boxes to clearly represent ‘removed’ relatives."

Add descriptions for clarity: 

Creating a family tree can sometimes feel confusing and overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. One helpful tip from Befus is to add descriptions to your branches to make everything clearer. "For instance, you might include key or small notes that explain terms like 'once removed,'" she explains. "By adding these explanations, you’ll find that your family tree becomes much easier to navigate."

Keep it simple: 

If you find creating your family tree overwhelming, try breaking it down into smaller sections. "You might create one chart for your direct cousins and another for distant relatives or those who are ‘removed,'" Befus advises. "This can make the process feel more manageable and enjoyable."

Best tools to create a cousin family tree

Fortunately, there are many tools available that can help you easily create a family tree. Befus recommends several platforms such as Ancestry.com, FamilySearch, and MyHeritage. “These platforms are excellent for building, storing, and researching family trees,” she explains. “Plus, they all offer mobile apps for added convenience.”

If you’re looking for something more customizable and visually appealing, Befus suggests using Canva or Lucidchart to design your own unique family trees. “For those who prefer offline software—perfect for keeping your data private—options like Legacy Family Tree and Gramps are great choices,” she adds.

Additionally, if you want to involve multiple family members in building your tree together, Befus recommends collaborative tools like Treemily and Kincrawler. “These platforms make it easy to work together on genealogy research,” she says.

Common questions about cousin relationships

1.What does the term 'once removed' mean?

"In genealogy, when we say someone is ‘once removed,’ we’re talking about their relationship across different generations," says Befus. "For example, if your parent has a cousin, that cousin is your first cousin once removed. This means there is one generation between you and that cousin."

2. Do cousins share DNA?

Cousins share a certain amount of DNA, which varies based on how closely related they are. According to Befus, "the International Society of Genealogy states that first cousins typically share about 12.5% of their DNA because they have the same grandparents.’In contrast, second cousins usually share around 3.125% of their DNA since they only share great-grandparents. Understanding these relationships can help us appreciate our family connections better."

3. How does understanding cousin relationships strengthen family bonds?

“Understanding cousin relationships can really strengthen family bonds,” says Befus. “Cousins often act as a link between different parts of a family tree. They carry shared history, stories, and experiences that connect generations.”

Cousins also have a special mix of closeness and distance. Befus explains, “In most families, you don’t have to live together or deal with daily annoyances like you do with siblings. Yet, you still grow up side by side, creating memories and connections that feel just as strong as sibling bonds.”

4. What's the best way to help my child understand what is a once-removed cousin? 

When talking to children about familial relationships, Befus recommends that parents teach their children about the importance of family and teach children how each member of the family is connected.

"Young children and school-aged children may not understand the term 'removed' and may have a better understanding of concrete examples of how family members are related," she says. "Parents can introduce the term 'removed' once their children have a concrete understanding of the connections."

Creating your own family tree allows you to explore your family’s history and understand the connections between relatives. When it comes to cousin relationships, it’s helpful to know that your cousin’s child is referred to as your first cousin once removed.

To make the process of building your family tree easier, consider using various tools designed specifically for tracking family connections. Involving other family members can also add to the fun, and working together turns this project into a collaborative and memorable activity.

Experts

• Tasha M. Brown, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist.
• Lauren Befus is the founder and family biographer of Memory Lane Jane, a family biography company based in Michigan.