When you have kids—especially really little ones—you’re in 24/ triage mode. So it can be hard to remember to send some love your spouse’s way. But it’s important to try, and doing so doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. Here are some ideas.
1. Say hi
When your partner comes in the door, get up and say hi before passing off the baby or running to the washroom. “Goodbye” and “good night” should also be regulars.
2. Express thanks
Changing diapers and emptying the dishwasher are just part of running a household. But it’s still nice when someone notices and thanks you for what you’ve done.
3. Pour a drink
It’s easy enough to get your own glass of water, but there’s something special about someone anticipating exactly what you need and bringing it to you.
4. Have regular date nights
You don’t even need to leave the house. Open a bottle of wine or prep a special snack and spend some time reconnecting. Doing this on a regular basis turns it into something to look forward to.
5. Send a note
Date night? No, thanks. I'll take a day dateWhen you’re away from each other, dash off a quick non-kid-related text to say hello or even just send a cute emoji. It’s nice to know your partner is thinking of you when you’re not around.
6. Initiate sex
Intimacy often plummets on the list of priorities when you have little kids, but that time as a couple is important. If you initiate it, your partner will feel all that much more desired.
7. Sleep sells
Let your partner sleep in, or suggest they sneak away for a nap on a weekend afternoon. Having someone acknowledge that you need a rest, and then facilitate it, is intensely gratifying.
8. Let them choose
If your partner clearly needs some time away from the kids, let them decide if they want to go out or if you should take the kids while they stay home alone. Don’t assume you know what they want.
9. Take on a chore
Think of something your spouse normally does, like prepping school lunches or making coffee, and spontaneously do it yourself. This shows you notice what they do and have decided to relieve
them of the burden.
10. Mark events
Make time to celebrate occasions like anniversaries and Valentine’s Day. Taking turns planning the events can become a fun game of one-upmanship—all in the name of showing the other person you care.