A post from a new mommy is making the rounds again. She quips that she feels many parents use their children as scapegoats or an excuse for mess and chaos. In her opinion, tending to your child, taking care of household responsibilities and eating healthy meals is a cinch, unless, of course, you're lazy. Oh, and her baby is only two weeks old.
The internet is a nasty place, so we decided to shower her with some loving advice.
Hello Dear Sweet-Faced New Mommy,
Sounds like you're two weeks deep into this whole new parent thing. Congratulations. We hope you're adjusting well in your clean home with a full, well-nourished belly. Sounds like you've been showering, too. Us Cheerio-crusted dirtbags admire you greatly.
Here's the thing, though, after you move on from the horror of ripping your taint and the shame of pooping on a table in front of a room full of medical professionals, you and your new babe will have some growing pains to go through. Sure, right now it might be easy, some babies are great sleepers and feeders —that's a blessing.
But girl, it gets a lot more challenging. You're in the honeymoon phase right now, here's what you have to look forward to:
It gets messy. So messy. All the mess. From poo to barf to glitter glue to crying. So much crying.
You'll realize that kids don't know how to regulate their emotions. Seriously, they emote all over the place. It's draining. And confusing. Mostly draining.
Sometimes our precious miracles get angry and refuse to listen or accept reason (but seriously, they will eventually learn to reason and problem-solve, promise). Their anger looks like this.
They ensure that we have zero privacy in the washroom, or, like, anywhere because why would you want alone time, anyway?
You'll realize that even if you make a schedule, your babe might not stick to it. You'll learn to adapt, change plans and work around meltdowns. You might have to live with random food bits under your couch and Skippy on your precious curtains. You'll learn to embrace the chaos.
Any rules around dinner will be chucked out the window. This isn't Operation Pinterest Meal, it's Operation Just F*&cking Eat Something for the Love of God Please I'm Afraid You Might Die UGH!
You'll feel swells of happiness, followed almost instantly by swells of anger and fear. You won't always know what to do, and that's OK. None of us know what to do all of the time.
But the most important thing is, you'll learn that judging or presuming things about other parents is hurtful and destructive. It serves no useful purpose.
If you can continue to manage keeping your house tidy while child rearing, we applaud you. We look forward to seeing your posts of well-rounded meals and neatly folded laundry. But if you devolve like the majority of us, with broken crayons littering the floor, dirty dishes filling the sink and a questionable smell permeating your home, grab a glass of wine (after bed time, obvie) and embrace it.
Cheers to the hardest job there is.
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