Many readers have understandably been concerned about Justin Bieber’s latest behaviour. Specifically, they’re wondering how to talk to their star-struck children about the celeb’s drag-racing, chauffeur-assaulting antics.
One Today's Parent reader wrote:
“What do you do when your 12-year-old daughter keeps defending [Justin]? I am so frustrated with her constant need to stand up for this boy. I understand she idolizes him, but she is so strong in her belief that he is innocent. I am at a loss as to what to say to her. Anything I say she comes back with comments that I don’t know what I am talking about.” — Frustrated mom
I’m here to talk you off the ledge. In fact, I’m here to tell you that this is a blessing in disguise. Why? Because, as parents, we need to take any opportunity we can to pound home the notion that deed and doer are separate. People who make bad choices are not bad people. People (the Biebs included) who make horrible choices are not horrible people.
Just for a second, consider the lifelong implications of this seismic shift in thinking.
And, following naturally from this…
Putting it all together, here’s what that might sound like:
“Justin Bieber is certainly a gifted entertainer. I agree that he has a great voice and is a great talent. But I don’t think he’s making good offstage choices right now and that concerns me. I wonder what’s making him choose to do the things he’s doing. Any ideas?”
Remember, at some point in the future, your kids are going to make bad choices, too. They’re going to experiment. They’re going to, well, do dumb stuff. You’ll want them to feel comfortable talking to you about it. And you’ll want them to be assured that no matter what they do, you love them. For who they are. Not what they do or what they’ve done.
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