Hello, world—this is why we love Adele! The 28-year-old singer is always blunt, especially in her songs, so it was no surprise that she didn’t hold back in her recent cover story for Vanity Fair. Adele is not one for the spotlight, and is usually very private (she went MIA for a few years after having her son), but when she was asked some very-personal, one-on-one questions, she really opened up. Here are some of our favourite, brutally-honest views that she shared—each one gives us another reason to love her.
1. When asked if she’s thinking of having more children: “I’m too scared. I had really bad postpartum depression after I had my son, and it frightened me.”
2. On how she handled postpartum depression: “I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I was very reluctant…My boyfriend said I should talk to other women who were pregnant, and I said, ‘F*ck that, I ain’t hanging around with a f*ckin’ bunch of mothers.’ Then, without realizing it, I was gravitating towards pregnant women and other women with children, because I found they’re a bit more patient. You’ll be talking to someone, but you’re not really listening, because you’re so f*ckin’ tired.”
3. On how her son helped her snap out of her postpartum depression: “The music I’ve always been drawn to is sad. I’ve always been pretty melancholy. Obviously not as much in my real life as the songs are, but I have a very dark side. I’m very available to depression. I can slip in and out of it quite easily. It started when my granddad died, when I was about 10, and while I never had a suicidal thought, I have been in therapy, lots. But I haven’t had that feeling since I had my son and snapped out of my postpartum depression.”
4. On talking to friends about her postpartum depression: “My friends who didn’t have kids would get annoyed with me, whereas I knew I could just sit there and chat absolute mush with my friends who had children, and we wouldn’t judge each other. One day I said to a friend, ‘I f*ckin’ hate this,’ and she just burst into tears and said, ‘I f*ckin’ hate this, too.’ And it was done. It lifted. My knowledge of postpartum—or post-natal, as we call it in England—is that you don’t want to be with your child; you’re worried you might hurt your child; you’re worried you weren’t doing a good job. But I was obsessed with my child. I felt very inadequate; I felt like I’d made the worst decision of my life…It can come in many different forms.”
5. On giving herself 'me-time': “Eventually I just said, I’m going to give myself an afternoon a week, just to do whatever the f*ck I want without my baby. A friend of mine said, ‘Really? Don’t you feel bad?’ I said, I do, but not as bad as I’d feel if I didn’t do it. Four of my friends felt the same way I did, and everyone was too embarrassed to talk about it; they thought everyone would think they were a bad mom, and it’s not the case. It makes you a better mom if you give yourself a better time.”
6. On mom guilt: “I’m enjoying touring, but at times I feel guilty because I’m doing this massive tour, and even though my son is with me all the time, on certain nights I can’t put him to bed. I never feel guilty when I’m not. You’re constantly trying to make up for stuff when you’re a mom. I don’t mind, because of the love I feel for [my]…I don’t care if I don’t ever get to do anything for myself again.”
7. On having (or not having) kids: “Actually, I think it’s the bravest thing not to have a child; all my friends and I felt pressurized into having kids, because that’s what adults do. I love my son more than anything, but on a daily basis, if I have a minute or two, I wish I could do whatever the f**k I wanted, whenever I want. Every single day I feel like that.”
8. On not being married: “[I] need it; [I] having a child together is the bigger commitment.”
9. On her son in public: “I’d sue the f*ckin’ ass off anyone that comes anywhere near my child.”
10. On her life as a mom: “My entire life revolves around my child, so everything is timed, because he’s on a routine.”
11. On being hungover with a kid: “Having a hangover with a child is torture. Just imagine an annoying three-year-old who knows something’s wrong; it’s hell.”
12. On making lifestyle changes for her child: “I’m not as indulgent as I was then, and I don’t have time to fall apart like I did then. But since I’ve had my baby, I’m not as carefree as I used to be. I’m scared of a lot of things now because I don’t want to die; I want to be around for my kid. I’m very cautious, whereas I was never cautious before. I would never have done anything before that would make me die, but now I go out of my way to avoid anything that is remotely dangerous—like walking along a sidewalk. I’d rather walk on the grass or a lawn, rather than the pavement, in case a car crashes into me. Also, I don’t go out as much as I used to. I go to very civilized dinners, and I’ll go to work things when I have to, but you have to literally drag me onto a f*ckin’ red carpet.”
13.On women: “Every day as I get older, I appreciate women more and more. When you’re between the ages of 15 and 19, maybe you see women as competition, as opposed to lifesavers and people that hold your hand and have experienced pretty much everything that you have. So the more women in my life the better.”
14. On whether her boyfriend of five years, Simon Konecki, minds her unshaven legs: “He has no choice…I’ll have no man telling me to shave my f*ckin’ legs. Shave yours.” PREACH!
15. On handling her ex-boyfriends that she wrote songs about: “There’s a reason I loved them once, and for a while hate got in the way. But I’m an adult now, I’m a mother, and I’m a lot less bitchy. They were interesting people, and while we’re not friends and I don’t see them regularly, I have seen them and it’s all fine.”
16. On her future and her priorities: “I want to sing these songs when I’m 70 f*ckin’ years old. To have a song, any song—let alone I’ve had four or five that have resonated with people that much—that’s why I make music. But all of my relationships are more important to me than any tour I’ll ever do. If my relationship with Simon or my relationship with Angelo started to flounder a bit now, I would pull out of my tour. My life is more important to me than anything I’m doing because how the f**k am I supposed to write a record if I don’t have a life? If I don’t have a real life, then it’s game over anyway.”
Hats off to Adele for being so honest, especially about postpartum depression. We love you, Adele—keep doing what you're doing!
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