Postpartum Mood Changes Affect All Parents—Not Just Moms

Having a baby changes everything: your schedule, your sleep, and your mental health. While postpartum mood changes are often framed as a mom thing, the truth is, any parent can feel the emotional whiplash of early parenthood. Reproductive psychiatrist Kathleen Hanlon, MD, says that these shifts are universal and naming them can make all the difference.

"All parents go through challenges in the early weeks," Hanlon says. "From sleepless nights and identity shifts to relationship changes and fears of not measuring up, these are all common experiences. But recognizing these challenges helps parents move through them with less shame and more compassion for themselves."

Hanlon adds that outdated social norms still push the myth that postpartum struggles only affect mothers, a misconception that leaves many parents feeling unseen. "Adoptive parents can also experience mood disturbances after bringing home a new baby," she notes. "The transition can be so intense, especially for first-time parents, that dads or non-birthing partners can also experience depression and anxiety."

She also stresses that the first step toward change is normalizing the conversation. “There’s not enough representation in media showing the range of postpartum mental health experiences,” she explains. “That lack of visibility creates misunderstanding. The encouraging part is that with the right kind of help, recovery can happen quickly."

To raise awareness, we’re unpacking how the “mom-only” myth took hold, why it leaves so many families unseen, and what postpartum really looks like for every kind of parent—from dads and partners to adoptive and surrogate parents.

What's the difference between the baby blues and postpartum depression?

Jana Rundle, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health specialist, has seen it countless times. A few days after giving birth, many new birthing parents find themselves crying for no reason, snapping at their partners, or feeling unusually fragile. Rundle explains that these "baby blues" are incredibly common and thankfully temporary.

“They usually appear in the first two weeks after delivery,” Rundle says. “Research shows that around 80 percent of new moms experience them. They’re thought to result from a mix of hormonal changes, physical recovery, and sleep deprivation. Baby blues often show up as mood swings, tearfulness and irritability that come and go. They typically resolve on their own within a couple of weeks."

Postpartum depression, however, can be far more disruptive. “It can make even simple tasks, like getting out of bed or taking care of yourself, feel impossible,” Rundle explains. “Common signs include fatigue, sadness or hopelessness, trouble sleeping, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy, withdrawing from loved ones, or feeling like your baby doesn’t like you or that you’re a bad mom.”

The difference between baby blues and postpartum depression comes down to duration, severity, and impact on daily life. “If mood issues last longer than two weeks, feel more intense, or start interfering with everyday functioning, that’s when we start thinking about postpartum depression instead of baby blues," Rundle emphasizes. "While baby blues fade on their own, postpartum depression brings persistent sadness or emptiness that doesn’t let up.”

She also highlights postpartum psychosis, a rare but serious condition and a medical emergency. “It can cause confusion, delusional thinking, and a break from reality,” Rundle adds. “Symptoms might include paranoid thoughts, such as believing people are out to get you or your baby, or experiencing ‘messages’ that feel divinely sent through songs, sermons or TV. Often there’s a religious theme or a sense that the baby, or the parent themselves, is divine, special or even evil.”

Postpartum psychosis is influenced by genetics and environmental factors, and sleep deprivation can trigger it. “While it’s serious and carries some risk of harm, postpartum psychosis is highly treatable," Rundle says. "With prompt medical care, symptoms tend to be less severe and resolve more quickly. Understanding what postpartum psychosis looks like is critical because it’s often the people closest to the parent who notice something feels off first. Maybe she’s saying things that don’t make sense or acting very unlike herself. Recognizing those red flags and acting quickly can quite literally save lives.”

Postpartum blues can affect any parent

Postpartum blues are very real, and they can be very overwhelming. Birthing parents navigate hormonal and physiological changes that can spark everything from anxiety to depression. Rundle explains that these experiences are classified as perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, or PMADs. "They include depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar spectrum disorders, PTSD and postpartum psychosis," she says. "They tend to appear in mothers because of the massive body and hormone changes they go through."

Yet, PMADs can impact any parent. "When all the care and attention go to one person, it quietly creates an unseen emotional burden for everyone else," Rundle notes. "Partner experiences are frequently downplayed, even though the adjustment hits everyone. That includes adoptive parents, partners and non-gestational parents. Studies indicate that about 10 percent of fathers meet the criteria for postpartum depression, and that rate can spike to nearly 50 percent if moms are also struggling."

Still, Rundle points out that society reinforces the idea that only mothers struggle and partners support—a narrative Rundle calls outdated and harmful. "Partners aren't just support systems," she adds. "They're people who are also going through a life-altering moment. When all attention goes to one parent, the other may suppress their own stress, anxiety, and identity shifts. That's how needs are overlooked, resentment develops, and isolation grows."

That's why Rundle emphasizes that postpartum touches the whole family. "Parenthood reorganizes your identity, nervous system and daily life overnight," she explains. "That does not discriminate by biology. Partners experience sleep loss, pressure to provide, fear around the safety of their baby and partner, changes in relationship dynamics, and the emotional shock of suddenly being responsible for a tiny new baby. Many struggle silently, feeling they must be the steady one."

What's paternal postpartum depression (P-PPD)?

Stephanie DeFilippis, a psychotherapist and licensed social worker, says it's time to challenge the misconception that paternal postpartum depression (P-PPD) does not exist.

"Fathers and non-birthing partners can absolutely experience postpartum depression," she says. "P-PPD describes depressive or anxious symptoms that arise in fathers or partners during the first year after birth, often connected to sleep loss, stress, and massive transition into parenthood."

Even with these clear symptoms, P-PPD is more common than many realize. DeFilippis points to research that confirms this. "Studies show that about one in 10 fathers, and up to one in five partners, experience significant depressive or anxiety symptoms after a baby is born," she explains. "The risk increases if the birthing parent is also struggling, when there’s a history of mental health issues, limited social support, financial pressure, or a difficult birth experience. Cultural expectations can make things worse, leaving partners to suffer alone in silence."

While P-PPD shares similarities with maternal postpartum depression, it can sometimes present differently. "Instead of tearfulness, partners may show irritability, withdrawal, anger, or throw themselves into work," DeFilipis observes. "They might feel emotionally detached from their baby or partner. Because these symptoms don’t match the 'sad mom' stereotype, they’re often missed. However, they signal the same underlying distress and need for support."

Postpartum mood disorders in adoptive and surrogate parents

Adoptive and surrogate parents can experience postpartum mood disorders, too. "Even without the biological processes of pregnancy, the emotional and psychological journey of preparing for a child can profoundly impact mood and physiology," explains Peyman Tashkandi, MD, a double board-certified psychiatrist. "The bond and sense of responsibility that develop in anticipation of a child—whether through pregnancy or adoption—can trigger profound emotional and hormonal shifts, even without the biological process."

Adoptive parents face particular hurdles in bonding. “Attachment usually begins during pregnancy through physical and hormonal cues,” Tashkandi notes. “For those adopting, the experience is indirect. They follow the pregnancy through updates, ultrasounds, or the surrogate’s progress rather than through their own body. That can make connecting feel less automatic, especially in the early stages.”

Surrogates, on the other hand, experience the full physical and hormonal journey of pregnancy. “Without the postpartum phase of caring for the baby, surrogates can feel emotionally attached to the child they carried,” Tashkandi observes. “Separation can trigger real grief or loss, even when the surrogates fully embrace the intended parents’ role.”

Regardless of the route to parenthood, similar symptoms can emerge. "These parents may experience anxiety, sadness, irritability, disrupted sleep, and self-doubt," Tashkandi says. "Many experience grief or uncertainty about their ability to care for a child or adapt in their new role. Early recognition and seeking support—via therapy, peer groups, or psychiatric care—can greatly improve emotional well-being."

How parental mood disorders impact the family

The impact of postpartum mood disorders extends beyond the individual parent. According to Dr. Rita Eichenstein, Ph.D., a pediatric neuropsychologist, when either parent struggles with depression or anxiety, it can shift the emotional balance of the household.

"It's a delicate balance," she says. "Much of the research has been done on mothers experiencing depression or anxiety. They may show less facial and emotional synchrony with their babies, which can affect early bonding and the way infants regulate stress."

Men, too, undergo biological changes that support caregiving, including drops in testosterone and rises in oxytocin and vasopressin. But when a father struggles with depression and anxiety, it can influence their partner’s stress levels, which in turn affects the baby, says Eichenstein.

When mood disorders go untreated, the effects ripple outward. "Untreated depression or anxiety impairs focus, empathy and patience," she explains.  "Babies are exquisitely sensitive to the 'vibes' around them. When parents become less responsive, couples argue more, and babies pick up on tension through tone of voice and body cues. This emotional contagion triggers stress responses in the infant’s brain and can lead to long-term anxiety or self-regulation challenges."

For this reason, early recognition and intervention are critical. "Addressing mood disorders early protects the entire family," Eichenstein emphasizes. "During the first year, both parents’ and babies’ brains are highly adaptable. Parent-infant therapy, couples counselling, and mindfulness practices can restore emotional attunement, lower stress hormones, improve communication, and foster lasting family well-being."

The bottom line

Parenthood often looks rosy from the outside, but Jennifer Teplin, a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Manhattan Wellness, emphasizes that it comes with its own set of unique challenges.

"No one talks about the deep emotional shifts that accompany bringing a baby into the world, especially when it comes to the toll it takes on mental health," she notes. "It’s also challenging for individuals to cope and ask for help, which makes recognizing warning signs even more important."

If parents notice symptoms of postpartum mood disorders, Teplin emphasizes the importance of seeking help early. "It takes a village to successfully raise a child," she says. "Reinforcing that mindset in a nonjudgmental way will help parents feel more comfortable speaking up if something feels off or their routines or coping mechanisms feel interrupted. PMADs are extremely common and, when treated early, they can be a small blip in someone’s parenting journey. But if left untreated, they can lead to long-term emotional strain and even resentment toward parenthood."

Finally, Teplin underscores that postpartum emotional struggles during the postpartum period aren't limited to mothers and birthing parents. She points out that while society has become more aware of maternal mental health challenges, fathers, non-birthing partners and other caregivers are often overlooked. "Fathers, in particular, can experience the baby blues, yet there's little language or support for their emotional needs, leaving them to navigate the experience alone."

Experts

• Kathleen Hanlon, MD, is a reproductive psychiatrist.
• Jana Rundle, Psy.D., PMH-C, is a licensed clinical psychologist and certified perinatal mental health specialist.
• Stephanie DeFilippis, LCSW, PMH-C, is a psychotherapist and licensed social worker.
• Peyman Tashkandi, MD, is a double board-certified psychiatrist.
• Dr. Rita Eichenstein, Ph.D., is a pediatric neuropsychologist.
• Jennifer Teplin, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and founder of Manhattan Wellness, a boutique psychotherapy practice in New York City.