How to Get Your Kid to Pee IN the Toilet

My son always hated being dirty. As a baby, he only cried when he had a wet or soiled diaper, so he was fully potty trained by two years old. Full stop.

Since then, it’s been a battle to get him to aim properly. I don't want to sit on pee, have to wipe pee off the toilet seat or check the floor before using the bathroom.

Why teaching boys to aim is important

While it seems like a minor issue, teaching boys proper bathroom habits is important for cleanliness and general hygiene. One dad told his boys to consider others who have to use the toilet, especially the people who sit down to go. I asked parents on local Facebook groups for their best tips on teaching boys the fine art of aiming. They either had creative solutions or simply told their kids to take a seat.

Target practice: Turn it into a game

Kids love a good game. Turning potty training into target practice was effective for many boys. One Montreal mom who worked in a daycare and summer camp says the boys’ bathroom was disgusting. Someone (or several someones) had taken to peeing all over the place. “The solution we were told to use was to regularly put a dab of red nail polish inside the bowl or urinal so they could entertain themselves blasting it away.”

Other parents were big advocates of keeping portable targets at hand, such as Cheerios, animal crackers or Goldfish crackers. A few of these floating in the bowl gave boys something to focus on while relieving themselves.

Some parents resorted to reward systems, whether there was a “real” reward or not. “I told my son that if all the pee goes in the bowl, he gets points, and I just make up the points,” says Caitlyn Sigouin of Blainville, Quebec. She has two boys ages five and nine. “I’ll be like, ‘Oh, that was 50 points!”

When motor skills impact aiming success

“The biggest thing to remember with potty training and aiming is that kids need to take things at their own pace,” says Syd Wajcman, owner and occupational therapist at Accompagner à Grandir in Montreal. “There’s a lot of motor growth that has to happen to be able to aim properly.”

For example, does your child have enough of an attention span to focus and follow a multi-step directional task? Do they have the motor skills, and is their core strong enough to stand and pee? Are they able to undo all their clothing and get there on time?

“There’s the sensory aspect too: is it too loud or cold? Are they scared of the flush or the splashback? These are all things we need to take into consideration when teaching our boys to aim and pee.”

Should boys sit or stand to pee?

It’s always been common for boys to stand and pee. The real task is properly going to the bathroom without making a mess. If that means sitting to get the job done at first, then so be it.

“We need to manage our expectations of where we think our children should be [developmentally]," says Wajcman. She advises following their cues. “This takes the stress off the parents. You know your kid is capable and will get there.”

Visual and practice strategies for success

Visuals can help young children. Wajcman suggests giving them step-by-step instructions on how to aim properly. For instance, stand in front of the toilet, pull your pants down, hold your penis, etc. Affix the instructions to the inside of the toilet seat (you might want to laminate those instructions) or onto the tank. And encourage practice: in the shower, outside in the backyard in the summertime, etc.”

Incentives make a difference

Kids who are learning to use the bathroom also need an incentive, Wajcman says. “We expect children to do things for the fact of doing them,” she explained. “Their motivational system is behind ours. This task is a challenging one and they need positive reinforcement.”

She says she’s not opposed to rewards like sticker charts. And she favours experiences rather than items like toys as rewards. “Focus on rewards that connect them with people. For instance, things like outings or arts and crafts, something that brings them joy.”

Let kids take responsibility for their messes

The majority of parents I asked say that at home, they encourage sitting down to pee; standing is for public bathrooms. And if they do make a mess trying to pee, make them clean it up so they can see how unpleasant it is to deal with.

“I told my 15-year-old, you wanna learn how to drive next year? How can you parallel park if you can’t aim in the toilet!” says Baheya Sirry a mom of two boys in Brossard, Quebec. “And I mean it. No learning to drive, which is a huge responsibility, until you can fulfil small responsibilities, like keeping a toilet clean.”

Practice makes perfect (and clean bathrooms)

Learning to aim comes with time. If it’s not going well at the beginning, consistency is key. Practice, practice, practice. Eventually, your boys will learn the best, most hygienic way to use the bathroom, both at home and out in public.

Have your own funny or genius bathroom hack? Share it with us at Today’s Parent! Email: editors@todaysparent.com or DM us on social.