22 creepiest baby shower cakes

We could make a ginger joke, but we won’t. So, uh, why is this cake an actual gingerbread woman pushing out a baby?! 

We hope very much for the sake of the mom in question that her baby doesn’t just zombie out of her gut on his own. That looks a little painful. 

OK, we can’t all be artisically inclined. But this nondimensional cake is truly the stuff of nightmares.  

Congrats on giving birth to Satan.

And sometimes, apparently, you give birth to a toddler?

Does anyone else think Sunset Blvd (“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up”) when they see this? So creepy. But in all honesty, I bet those glazed strawberries and that chocolate sprinkle butthole taste pretty good.

The doll-face cake was tame compared to this business. Nope. No. This one is making us never want to eat cake again (and that’s a very serious statement). Rachel, we are very, very sorry. 

When it comes time to teach Baby Gentri about sex, this cake will do all the work. 

What we want to know is WHY DOES THIS BABY HAVE TEETH?! Looks painful. Does anyone else think the vagina totally looks like a Piranha Plant from the Mario Brothers videogame? 

OK, this one is kind of sweet. Creepy, for sure, but definitely sweet, too. 10/10 would eat this cake and enjoy it.

Can we please just appreciate the detail of this weird cake? Seriously, the fondant skin has that “glow”; the sheet is so artfully draped, and even the stretch marks look authentic. We would definitely partake in a piece of the leg. Forks up!

Some might think this is sweet, but wee fondant feet kicking out of a stomach makes us raise our eyebrows.

Oh, good, I always wanted to try a slice of placenta cake with a side of medical instruments.

So, this cake is, uh, interesting? Bravo to the cake designers for creating such a life-like pretty-much-still-a-fetus confection, but it’s just so gross. Who requests this kind of cake, really? Why is it blue? We have so many questions.

There’s something so endearing about this fresh-faced Cabbage Patch doll peeking out of a rather unappetizing vagina.

Baby Ethan looks demonic! The person who made this is either a really bad cake decorator or really hates the Robinson family. 

OK, so Christina Aguleria had a creepy cake, too, but hers seems much more tame than some of the others. Maybe it’s because her cake self has painted fingernails. 

Mazel tov on the arrival of your baby swamp monster? 

So, according to this cake, childbirth will turn you into a character on The Walking Dead. 

Not sure which is worse, the pink zebra-patterned outfit or the creepy squish-faced ultrasound peeking out. 

Dessert is served, C-section style. 

I’ll have a slice of the forearm, please.