We scoured the Internet to find some of the weirdest names parents have bestowed upon their children. Of course, most of them are celebrity baby names, but there have been some recent doozies in the media too. The names we found range from weirdly interesting to cruelly weird (we’re looking at you, Tabooger, alas).
Son of actor/model/musician Shannyn Sossamon and children’s book author/illustrator Dallas Clayton
Apparently “Science” was going to be the first name, but it was too close to Simon (true story).
Son of actor Alicia Silverstone
A cute name for a cub. Not the kind of name you want to grow into.
ESPN Montana (pronounced “Espin”)
Son of Leann and Rusty Real, Mississippi, USA
This would be the worst case scenario if you let dad choose the name.
Daughter of Jamal Abraham, Egypt
Scratch that last one. This is the worst case scenario.
Daughter of the late TV host/writer Paula Yates and singer/songwriter/author, Bob Geldof
Fifi’s siblings were also blessed with perfect fairy poodle names: Peaches and Pixie.
Jermajesty Jermaine Jackson
Son of singer Jermaine Jackson
Oh no he didn’t! Oh. Yes he did.
Son of actor Nicolas Cage
Who knew Nicolas Cage was Superman’s number-one fan?
Daughter of Lior and Vardit Adler, Israel
Like, Like should totes be friends with, like, Facebook. Like’s siblings got luckier with sweet names Pie and Dvash (the Hebrew name for honey).
Daughter of rocker Frank Zappa
Beam me up! Beam me up! Beep beep moon unit. Beeeeeep. Scotty.
Moroccan & Monroe Cannon
Son and daughter (twins) of singer Mariah Carey and actor/comedian Nick Cannon
Just because they get the nicknames “Roc” and “Roe” doesn’t make it okay. Moroccan is named after the décor in one of his parents’ homes.
Daughter of magician Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller)
Another superhero fan? At least “CrimeFighter” makes “Moxie” look like an average name.
Son of actor Jason Lee
We’re still eagerly awaiting the bizarre name of their second child (born August 2008).
Son of singers Erykah Badu and André Benjamin (André 3000 of Outkast)
Hey, they stole George Costansa’s baby name!
Superman (aka 4Real)
Son of Pat and Sheena Wheaton, New Zealand
When the New Zealand Department of Internal Affairs kiboshed their plan to name their baby 4Real, the Wheatons chose Superman. But they insist on calling him 4Real. For real!
Son of actor/director Dan Cortese
They couldn’t have picked a — booger — worse name. The poor child is probably getting picked on as you read this. OMG.
Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii
Daughter of unnamed parents in New Zealand
A judge made Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii a ward of the court when she was 9 years old so they could change the name — the poor girl was so embarrassed, she told no one her name. Nothing funny about that.
Zuma Nesta Rock
Son of singer Gwen Stefani and rocker Gavin Rossdale
All I wanna do is zuma-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom! (We secretly love this name!)
Originally published at CanadianParents.com, Sept/2011