How To Talk About Mental Health With Your Kids

Talking to kids about mental illness is hard—so hard that many of us put it off indefinitely, not wanting to expose them to things like depression or overwhelming anxiety when they’re so young and innocent. But rather than keeping kids in the dark, it’s essential to learn how to talk about mental health with them to help them feel comfortable talking about their own worries and end the stigma before it begins.

“We know it is very important to talk openly and honestly to children about mental health,” says Jill Dennison, a mental health promotion and resilience facilitator at the Canadian Mental Health Association, based in Hamilton, Ont. She explains that kids should understand that mental health means having a balance in life, and this balance looks different for everyone.

Learning about mental health at a young age can help them find their own equilibrium and recognize things in their lives that throw them out of balance.

Dennison emphasizes the need to start with conversations about mental health, not mental illness. “Mental health affects us all, no matter our age. If we have a brain, we have mental health and that is often how we discuss it with children.” Here are some expert tips to help you get the conversation going.

What you need to know

Mental health is how we think, feel and cope with everyday life—our emotional well‑being—while mental illness is when those thoughts, feelings or behaviours become so unbalanced that they start to interfere with daily life and may need support or treatment from a professional.

Key takeaway for kids: Everyone has mental health, and it’s always OK to talk about how you’re feeling and ask for help when things feel too big to handle on your own.

Bringing it up

If you’re feeling a little unsure about how to bring up the topic with your kids, try to find a conversation starter from everyday life.

• A movie that features a character with mental health challenges or a celebrity who has had a positive experience could make for good entry points.
• Kids hear all sorts of stereotypes in the schoolyard, so if you overhear your child or their friends using a derogatory term like “crazy,” use that moment as a way to start the conversation.
• Dennison also suggests using something your child is interested in, like art that depicts emotions, as a jumping-off point.
• If your kid has witnessed an incident with a family member who has a mental health condition, this can be used as an opportunity to delve deeper into the issue. Start by asking her how she feels, and let the conversation grow organically from there.

Finding the words

Use age-appropriate language when discussing any topic with your child, advises Jean-Paul Boudreau, professor of psychology and director of the Children, Health, Infancy, Learning, Development (CHILD) lab at Ryerson University in Toronto. He suggests trying to find a frame of reference they can relate to. “They may know someone who is sick or feeling very sad. Weave the narrative of mental illness into something they know or have witnessed,” he says.

Dennison explains that kids need to be reminded that there is no such thing as a stupid question. It’s important to listen to them without judgment and to refrain from telling them how to feel. “Allow them the opportunity to express what they’re feeling,” she adds.

Both Boudreau and Dennison suggest finding ways to explain to your child that an illness in the brain is no different from one in the body, like cancer. By making this comparison, children may be able to better understand how a family member is experiencing their particular illness and how they can be treated to get better.

Tailoring it to their age

There is no age too young to start the conversation, but, of course, how you talk to your 13-year-old will be different than how you talk to your toddler. “Don’t overwhelm young children with statistics and definitions,” says Dennison. “Describe symptoms in an age-appropriate way.”

One example Dennison shares is when talking about depression, you can explain to your child that everyone feels sad at times in their life, but depression is when that sadness starts to interfere with daily life. The sadness becomes overwhelming and lasts for a longer period of time. “As a child ages, their knowledge and understanding grow, and their questions evolve,” she says. At that point, the conversation can deepen.

“You are the best judge of your child’s temperament,” reminds Dr. Boudreau. “Use the words that work, but don’t feel you need to downplay anything.”

Discussing suicide

When the worst happens and a loved one dies by suicide, many parents feel the impulse to protect a child from the news, but experts suggest talking to kids who are old enough to understand death to help minimize fear. “Be honest about the fact that it was a suicide, but that the child was not responsible nor could they have prevented it,” says Dennison.

“You would much rather have your child know you are approachable and open to talking about tragedies and that you will be there to support them,” she adds. "Talking about it will open the door to a positive relationship of understanding should they ever struggle themselves."

When to Seek Help: A Guide for Parents

It’s normal for kids to have big feelings and tough days. However, as a parent, your intuition is one of your most powerful tools. If something feels "off," it is always worth paying attention to.

Signs to watch for

Reach out for professional help—such as your child’s family doctor, a school counsellor, or a mental health professional—if you notice any of these changes lasting more than two weeks or if they are interfering with your child’s daily life:

• Persistent mood shifts: Your child seems sad, worried, angry, or "flat" (unemotional) most days.
• Sleep and appetite: Significant changes, such as sleeping much more or less than usual, or a sudden increase or loss of appetite.
• Social withdrawal: Pulling away from friends, family, or hobbies they used to love.
• Physical red flags: Frequent "unexplained" tummy aches or headaches that don't have a clear medical cause (children often show emotional distress through their bodies).
• School struggles: A noticeable drop in grades, trouble concentrating, or a sudden, strong refusal to attend school.
• Behavioural changes: More frequent meltdowns, increased irritability, risky behaviour, or talking about feeling like a “bad kid” or a "burden."

Seek help immediately

If your child is experiencing a mental health crisis, do not wait. Seek help right away if they:

• Talk about wanting to die, disappear, or hurt themselves (even if it sounds "casual" or like a joke).
• Have a specific plan or have already tried to hurt themselves.
• Are seeing or hearing things that aren’t there, or seem very out of touch with reality.
• Are so distressed that you are worried they are not safe if left alone.
• Experience a sudden, extreme shift in personality or behaviour that feels unsafe.

Emergency Resources in Canada

You are not alone. These services are free, confidential, and available 24/7.

National Crisis Line

• Call or Text 9-8-8
• Immediate suicide prevention and mental health distress.

Kids Help Phone

• 1-800-668-6868 or Text CONNECT to 686868
• Specialized support for kids, teens, and young adults.

Hope for Wellness

• 1-855-242-3310
• Culturally competent support for all Indigenous peoples in Canada.

Emergency Services

• Call 911 or go to the ER
• Immediate physical danger or medical emergencies.

Remember: Reaching out for help isn't a sign that you've "missed something"—it’s a sign that you are a proactive, supportive parent. Let your child know that asking for help is a brave choice and that they never have to carry big feelings on their own.