Depression is on the rise in kids—but the signs are hard to recognize

Because kids don’t have the words to explain the despair they feel, many come off as being irritable, aggressive or just plain poorly behaved. Bancroft explains kids act this way in order to push people away and avoid interactions when they are unable to express themselves. “Too often, parents hear from people that it’s just a phase they’re going through. And it may well be the case that what the child is experiencing is temporary, but if a parent saw this and there was a marked change in the child or it just seemed atypical for a child that age, I would want to learn more about it. And I would talk to their teacher to find out how the child is doing from the school’s perspective.”

Sarah Cannon, who lives in St. Catharines, Ont., lost her husband to suicide when her daughters, Amy and Emily, were two and five years old. Emily had shown signs of mental health issues by two years of age and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was five. When Amy began having angry outbursts at 12, Sarah initially chalked it up to the volatile situation of living with years of grief and a sibling with bipolar disorder.

“Something would happen to trigger the emotion, and then she’d go to the extreme,” says Sarah. As a tween, Amy would “spew venom.” She seemed angry, not depressed, but after years of experience with Emily, Sarah recognized that her daughter’s rage was caused by a deep sadness. After Amy tried to overdose on pills at age 13, she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and got treatment.

Now 17, Amy has worked hard to find stability and develop tools to help regulate her mood. She has begun to explain to her mom why she acted so angry when she was sad. “She said, ‘One of the reasons I did that is because I know I’m going to die, and I know I’m leaving people behind who will be sad. I had to make it so that when I die, you guys would be relieved,’ ” Sarah says.