How To Help Your Kids Embrace Boredom

With summer break just around the corner, get ready to hear your kid say the phrase, “I’m bored,” a whole lot. Even though boredom is often seen as a negative state, it can actually be a great opportunity for your child's growth.

Your first instinct might be to “fix” your kid’s boredom right away, especially with technology and constant stimulation all around us. However, giving children unstructured, unscheduled time can help them think creatively, develop problem-solving skills and build resilience.

Here you’ll find tips and practical strategies from experts to shift mindsets and normalize boredom at home.

The surprising benefits of boredom for child development

Creativity and imaginative play

Have you ever noticed that some of your best ideas come when you’re sweeping the floors or doing the dishes? Sometimes the most creative thoughts come when you’re doing the simplest or mundane tasks.

Natasha Sharma, therapist and founder of Toronto family therapy firm NKS Therapy, explains that boredom puts the mind and body into a space where it's forced to feel uncomfortable. “Boredom is sort of in a way a discomforting feeling,” Sharma explains. “I think we're naturally inclined to want to move out of that eventually. So it kind of 'revs' the creative wheels of our minds, which otherwise might be too occupied if we're too busy.”

Patience and problem-solving

Along with nurturing creativity, boredom can help children develop problem-solving skills and self-reliance. According to the Global Leaders Institute for Arts Innovation, when our minds are not focused on a specific task they are free to wander and come up with innovative solutions. When kids are left to find activities themselves and learn to manage the discomfort of boredom, it can help them build patience, resilience and intrinsic motivation.

Introspection and self-discovery

Unstructured time not only gives children a moment to recharge—it fosters introspection and self-discovery. “Any time we sit in the quiet where we're kind of bored and contemplative, it kind of gives our mind an ability, like the space to move into or think about things that we might normally not think about,” says Sharma.

Social and emotional regulation

When your kid is bored, have you noticed that their first instinct is to ask their sibling to play with them? This is an example of how boredom helps kids find their own coping strategies. Dr. Andrew Wong, a registered clinical and school psychologist, says boredom can help kids develop certain aspects of emotional and social regulation. “[It’s] the idea that, hey, if I'm bored, perhaps I can find something to do. Do I engage with someone in my environment? Do I strike up a conversation? Do I ask someone to play with me? You know, this idea of being able to socially engage with others,” he says.

Why parents often struggle with their child's boredom

As a parent, the constant “go, go, go” is probably part of your daily routine. So when your child feels bored, you may feel the need to be a constant entertainer or go into “fix it mode.”

While this is a valid reaction, Dr. Wong says priming children to think of activities themselves can be beneficial. “Many people see boredom as this negative characteristic or this sort of negative event. And so many parents, when they hear that, they think to themselves, well, I have to fix this,” he explains. “And so then children become reliant on the parents to figure it out for them.”

It’s also normal to feel pressure to always keep your kid busy, especially during summer break. “I think we have this culture where, you know, we feel like the need to be occupied every second of the day.” says Sharma. “Because that's how we view ourselves as adults. If we're not occupied every second of the day, we're not productive enough.”

Shifting your mindset and seeing boredom as an opportunity

Even though the phrase “I’m bored” may sound like a complaint (or just become slightly annoying after hearing it this entire summer), it can be a great signal for opportunity.

Unstructured time is essential for helping your child develop internal resources and self-regulation skills. Trusting your kids to occupy themselves is the first step to shifting your mindset. “It's giving ourselves permission as adults not to have to fix everything for our kids, including boredom,” says Dr. Wong.

Exploring your own discomfort with inactivity or silence can also be a great way to model for your children the importance of having downtime. Especially over the summer, Sharma says, parents should encourage their kids to have a mix of productive engagement, family time and downtime. “I think we need to have a healthy balance of being permissive and not judgmental and letting them relax into a state of nothingness, if that's what they need to do,” she adds.

Practical strategies for normalizing boredom at home

Create a "boredom-busting box"

Designate a "boredom-busting box" or area with simple, open-ended materials. Some examples could include paper, crayons, markers, pipe cleaners, clay and building blocks.

Establish routines

Set clear expectations about unstructured time such as safety rules or specific areas for play. Wong suggests parents tell their children how much unstructured time they will be having during the day and ask them to brainstorm a few activities the night before.

Encourage outdoor play

Especially in the summer, incorporating unstructured time outside can be great for your child’s daily routine—it not only encourages exploration in nature but also helps them get physical activity. According to the Canadian Society for Exercise Physiology (CSEP), children from ages five to 17 should accumulate at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity per day. They should also get several hours of a variety of structured and unstructured light physical activities.

Offer encouragement, not solutions

When your child starts saying they’re bored, resist the urge to immediately offer solutions. Instead, Wong says it’s important for parents to show interest and ask their kids questions about their projects or creations. “Show that enthusiasm, because that is actually positively reinforcing,” he says.

Age-appropriate boredom busters (without screens!)

It’s easy to use screens as a quick fix for boredom, however, here are some other options to try out before turning to the tablet.

Toddlers (2-3 years)

• Simple sensory play
• Stacking blocks
• Looking at picture books

Preschoolers (4-5 years)

• Drawing or colouring
• Simple puzzles
• Playing dress-up

Early Elementary (6-8 years)

• Reading chapter books
• Writing stories
• Creating art projects

Older Elementary/Middle School (9-13 years)

• Journaling
• Learning a new simple skill, such as baking an easy recipe or crocheting
• Coding basics

How to respond when your child says "I'm bored"

Providing a solution or an activity to cure your kid's boredom might be your first instinct. However, Sharma says it’s important for parents to let their kids “figure it out” themselves.

Here are some phrases and questions to start the conversation:

• Validate their feeling: "It's okay to feel bored.”
• Turn the question back to them: “What could you do?" (Tip: Have them create a 'dopamine menu', or list of things they can do when they're bored, to keep on the fridge.)
• Discuss the feeling of boredom: “Why does feeling bored bother you?”

Sharma adds that talking about the emotion behind boredom can also be positive for kids. “Try and get them to talk about the emotion, the feeling of what it feels like to be bored and why it's an issue for them, and how they can cope with that or move through it,” she says.

Ultimately, figuring out what to do is part of the fun. For kids who need more guidance, Dr. Wong recommends offering gentle prompts or suggestions based on available materials. “In our back pockets as parents and caregivers, think about two or three things that you can throw out there for the children that they can go to,” he says.

The bottom line: Boredom is healthy

The next time your child comes to you with a look of boredom on their face, trust their ability to entertain themselves. As a parent, it’s your job to provide space and minimal resources, not constant entertainment. Learning to cope with boredom helps prepare children for a world that won’t always provide instant gratification.

Even if there’s a lot of boredom to go around this summer break, try letting your kid figure it out themselves. You’ll be surprised to see the quiet magic that can happen when they're left to their own devices.

Experts

• Natasha Sharma is a therapist and the founder of NKS Therapy.
• Dr. Andrew Wong is a registered clinical and school psychologist.