4 Ways to Help Kids Who Procrastinate

Whether it’s learning to self-soothe, set the table or clean up, we give children age-appropriate tasks hoping to teach them independence and responsibility. But the start of these responsibilities is also the start of, “I’ll do it in five minutes,” “Let me finish this game first,” or a rather honest, “I don’t want to do that.”

What does procrastination look like at different ages?

New research by Brock University psychology professor Caitlin Mahy explores how procrastination plays out in maturing children. Her work explains typical procrastination-type behaviours at different stages. For young preschoolers, ages two to four, you may notice them delaying household routines like cleaning messes or getting dressed.  At this stage, you can expect the common refrains, “I don’t want to” or, “I’m busy.”

Older preschoolers, ages five and six, may delay doing schoolwork or chores. They may sense a contract, understanding that they are supposed to complete these tasks, but lack interest. “Instead of ‘I’m busy,’ it might be ‘I’ll do that later,’” said Mahy.

Elementary and middle-school children, ages seven to 13, experience more academic procrastination. At this stage, your child is probably adjusting to more homework assignments. “Here, I think a lot of kids get to the situation where they just leave things to the last minute,” said Mahy.

High school teens, ages 14 to 18, experience new priorities like socializing with friends and extracurricular commitments. At this stage, procrastination is prominent at school. “There are often part-time jobs or new romantic relationships that are very distracting,” said Mahy. “We know these individuals have high tendencies to procrastinate, but it’s also that these students find themselves with a lot to manage without the time management skills they need.” Additionally, kids struggle with finding motivation and interest in certain tasks which may influence pushing certain activities to the last minute.

Chronic procrastination and the warning signs

Though procrastination is not a good behaviour, Mahy urges parents to remember that it is normal. The real risk of procrastination is when it becomes a chronic habit.

In adults, chronic procrastination sometimes leads to high stress, high anxiety and worrisome health-related outcomes. “If you’re procrastinating going to the dentist and going to see a doctor, those things catch up with you over time,” said Mahy.

Warning signs that a child’s procrastination-type behaviours are becoming habitual include negative impacts on academic performance, delaying tasks daily and putting off responsibilities in every area of life—not just the undesirable ones.

“It’s definitely nothing parents should be very worried about unless it seems very extreme,” said Mahy. She advises parents noticing emerging procrastination behaviours to approach children with empathy.

Here are four tips to stop procrastination-type behaviours in their tracks

Use a starting ritual

Sometimes, the hardest part of completing a task is simply getting started.

According to Mahy, a starting ritual—like counting down from five before brushing your teeth—can make undesirable chores less overwhelming.

Some adults use the Pomodoro technique: taking five minute breaks after 25 minutes of work. “Now with children, 25 minutes probably isn’t going to happen,” said Mahy. Another approach is explaining that you are setting a timer to go off shortly before your child should begin a task. Understanding that action needs to be taken when the timer rings can help kids get over the tendency to say, “I’ll just do it later.”

Clear away distractions

A procrastination-friendly environment is one with long deadlines and plenty of distractions. Instead of working, we spend time and energy resisting checking our phones, chatting with friends and taking breaks. Like adults, children are more likely to procrastinate when surrounded by possible temptations.

When it’s time for homework, consider clearing your child’s space of toys and screens. When it’s time for chores, set shorter deadlines to limit the opportunity for distractions.

“Avoid saying, ‘Okay well you need to clean your room by the end of the week,’” said Mahy. A better approach is saying, “Right now we’re going to clean our room so, in an hour, we’ll be finished.”

Break down longer-term deadlines

Try dividing big tasks into smaller, simpler parts.

According to Mahy, a child may feel overwhelmed by the large and dreaded assignment, “Go get ready for bed.” This request is more manageable when the child hears, “Can you brush your teeth? Can you put on pyjamas? Can you choose a bedtime story?”

Make tasks fun

Making tasks less disagreeable and more entertaining may help children who find chores boring, tedious and unpleasant.

“We don’t put off tasks we’re looking forward to and that we find fun,” said Mahy, who suggests turning chores into games or contests. Instead of declaring clean-up time and framing the task in a negative light, ask your child how fast they can organize their toys.

Why understanding procrastination is so important

Procrastination is a part of the rising mental health crisis and post-pandemic academic struggles. “Fixing procrastination isn’t going to completely eliminate these challenges, but I think it’s an important piece of the puzzle,” said Mahy.

By recognizing procrastination-type behaviours, parents and teachers can encourage healthier goal setting and work ethics.