Family life

Your sex life: The best and worst

In our annual sex survey this year, you told us what you love most about your sex life... and what doesn't fan your fire.

Photo: iStockphoto

Photo: iStockphoto

In our recent 2014 sex survey, we asked you to spill the beans on your favourite, and least favourite, aspects of your sex lives. But don’t worry—we kept your answers anonymous.

What’s your favourite thing about your sex life?

“Having ‘sneaky sex’ while the kids are busy!”

“The pre-and post-sex cuddle.”

“That it even exists.”

“The reconnection with my partner after a stress-filled day chasing a toddler.”

“I’m not ‘Mom’ during sex.”

“The sleep afterwards.”

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“It’s one-on-one time between you and your spouse that kids are not a part of!”

“We get to be alone, just the two of us.”

“My wife’s body. Even after 2 ¾ kids (she’s 8½ months pregnant at the time of answering this) I find her sexier than the day I married her.”

“That neither of us feel obligated to define our relationship’s success by how often we have sex.”

“My husband makes me feel beautiful and desirable, even when I haven’t lost my baby weight and am covered in a day’s worth of spit-up .”

“He still sends me to the moon when we do have sex!”

“The recurring surprise of how good, cheap and fun it can be. Why in the world are we not doing this more often!”

What’s your least favourite thing about your sex life?

“Having to rush or hire a babysitter for uninterrupted love time.”

“What sex life?”

“My body image. I don’t always feel sexy in my skin due to to the changes that pregnancy has brought on.”

“That it’s not more often.”

“That I feel I’m not being a good wife, since I usually don’t feel like having sex as often as he does.”

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“The possibility of pregnancy.”

“Post-birth pain.”

“The feeling of having to have sex when you’re not in the mood.”

“That it’s always the same—boring!”

“Missing out on sleep.”

“It’s sometimes just another thing on my neverending to-do list.”

“I wish we could have more not-tired sex.”

“It’s exhausting. With a baby attached to me, I would rather sleep.”

“Trying to shut the ‘mom brain’ off!”

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“My partner sees me as a nursing mother who gave birth and has trouble seeing me now as a sexual being who wants to have sex and be touched intimately.”

“Not being able to remember what it is.”

“Sometimes I feel ‘touched out’ at the end of the day and one more person needing me is too much.”

“That children are in the next room.”

“I’m just not always in the mood and he’s always in the mood!”

“That we have to wait until after the kids are in bed.”

A version of this article appeared in our February 2014 issue with the headline “Love, actually”, pp. 47-50.

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