Why Parents Are So Focused On Executive Function Right Now

The school lunches are packed, carefully stuffed into each backpack. Water bottles (with ice, of course) are lined up on the entryway table. The car is on, warming up in the driveway. I’m hollering from the bottom of the stairs for the kids to hurry up—it’s time for school drop-off—when my eldest ambles down the stairs, sockless.

“Where are your socks? It’s time to go!” I shout, tossing shoes and coats at whoever looks half-ready to leave.

This is a typical day in my household, and likely familiar to many parents with kids who are growing older, but still learning the basics of getting ready on time. A key skill is behind moments like these, one that has become something of a parenting buzzword: executive functioning.

What does “executive function” mean?

"Executive function is a set of complex mental abilities that allow us to function effectively in our day-to-day lives, by allowing us to organize and plan our activities, solve problems, and operate effectively socially,” said Dr. Gaiathry Jeyarajan, a psychiatrist and author of I Love You More Than Rice and Curry.

According to the Canadian Psychological Association, executive functioning skills include:

• Inhibition control A child might show inhibition control by raising their hand instead of blurting out the answer in class, or pausing and allowing their sibling a turn to play with a toy, rather than snatching it back.
• Working memory A child uses working memory when they remember the three steps their parent says are needed to get ready in the morning: get dressed, brush their teeth, and grab their backpack.
• Cognitive flexibility Cognitive flexibility shows up when a child shows adaptability, like when their favourite restaurant is closed for construction, and they agree to go to a different one instead.

Children are constantly learning executive functioning skills, and there’s no single blueprint for success. “The sophistication of each skill should advance with age…evidence suggests that there is a growth spurt in executive function between the ages of 10 and 15,” said Dr. Jeyarajan.

Why are parents so interested in executive function now?

Awareness of the term “executive function” has likely grown alongside greater recognition and diagnosis of conditions such as ADHD and autism spectrum disorder, Dr. Jeyarajan shared. These conditions typically impair a child’s executive functioning skills. But all children will require their parents’ support to develop these critical skills, which will emerge over time.

And while all parents get frustrated by lost water bottles and forgotten homework, parents' reactions are changing. Blame it on gentle parenting, but an increased interest in supporting kids rather than blaming them for bad behaviour is bringing more technical terms like "executive function" to the forefront. Plus, screen time and shorter attention spans translate to kids having more trouble doing the boring work of paying attention, patience and problem-solving.

How can parents support their child’s executive functioning skills?

“Children learn by example, and from early childhood they mirror their parents’ behaviours. How parents demonstrate executive functioning is therefore one of the main ways children learn these skills,” explained Dr. Jeyarajan.

You can support your child’s executive functioning by modelling strong problem-solving, planning, and self-control behaviours.

Some practical examples include:

• If dinner burns, you can show adaptability and flexibility by pausing, taking a deep breath, and figuring out a solution—maybe that means ordering pizza, or having “breakfast for dinner”, instead.
• You can put up a morning checklist on your fridge, including one for the adults and one for the kids, as visual reminders and cues for what needs to be accomplished for a productive morning.
• Demonstrate self-control by talking through your frustration. If your child is playing music loudly, you might approach them, explain that it's making it difficult for you to concentrate, and ask them to lower the volume.
• Micro-dose their tasks. A command like "clean your room" can easily overwhelm kids. Instead, outline smaller steps they can do one by one. For instance, "put dirty clothes in the hamper, then put your toys on the shelf."
• Warning kids that you have to leave in five minutes is often too abstract. Make time more tangible with a visual timer.
• If your kid struggles to think before acting, help them practice self-control with old-school games like Red Light, Green Light or Freeze Dance.

Of course, adults don’t have perfect executive functioning skills either; that’s simply a part of being human. When you become easily frustrated, struggle to adapt to a new situation, or forget an important item at home, you can also use those moments as teachable opportunities to reflect on what you might have done differently.

Executive functioning and screen time

As someone parenting neurodiverse children who require support when it comes to executive functioning, I have seen the impact of screen time and technology on their behaviours. In some instances, there can be a positive impact, particularly when we use screens intentionally rather than passively consuming content (such as watching YouTube videos or short reels).

• Educational apps can help with memory, problem-solving, and even planning, such as Kahoot, Toca Boca Jr. or Pok Pok. Interactive content typically engages a child’s brain and supports the development of these skills.
• Screen time can offer children creative outlets, such as creating art with tools like Project Aqua.

However, screen time without adult supervision or limits can lead to reduced executive function in school-aged children, particularly when it is passive. An overreliance on screens can affect a child’s sleep, working memory, self-control, and flexibility.

If you’re concerned that your child might need additional support in the development of executive function skills, it’s best to speak with an expert. "When in doubt, it is best to seek a professional assessment so that an age-appropriate evaluation can be completed," said Dr. Jeyarajan.