What did you say when your kid caught you having sex?

We asked, you answered: Find out how Today's Parent readers explained bedroom antics to their kids—direct from our 2014 sex survey.
FamilyKissing-iStock

Photo: iStockphoto

More than 2,000 Today’s Parent readers took part in our annual sex survey this year, and we can’t resist sharing the creative (and hilarious) things you’ve told your kids when they’ve caught you having sex.

Here’s what moms and dads across Canada have said to explain the, um, ‘horizontal tango…’

“We said that sometimes grownups, who are over the age of 30, show their love for each other this way. And if they try to do it before the age of 30, Santa and the Easter bunny will not come visit them ever again.”

“We told them that mommy and daddy love each other and we were showing each other how we feel.”

“Our four year old will yell at us to stop squeaking the bed. We tell her we’re either wrestling or cuddling.”

Read more: The sex lives of Canadian parents>

“We reminded him that grownups that are in love sometimes give each other a special kind of hugs and kisses that they do in private.”

“Daddy was tickling me!”

“My stepson told us one morning that he heard a lot of weird noises the night before. We told him we were watching a movie and couldn’t find the remote to turn the volume down.”

 “Go back to bed. It’s Mommy and Daddy’s time to play.”

Read more: 10 easy ways to put the spark back in your marriage>

“We were wrestling.”

“That we were looking for my partner’s contact lenses.”

“We told her Daddy was checking to see if Mommy had an ouchie on her tushy.”

“We were playing horsey.”

“When the door is closed you have to knock!”

Read more: Sex after kids>

“My son told Daddy to get off his Mommy! I said ‘It’s ok, Daddy isn’t hurting me.’ We have a lock for our door now.”

“We had the big talk about different ways people show love. Her response? ‘When you’re done talking, can I have some cheesies?’”

“That this was personal time that Mom and Dad had together kissing and sharing love, and that it’s not something people should do until they are grownups.”

“Our kids thought we were just bouncing on the bed, so they jumped up on bed and began bouncing with us!”

“That we were fixing Daddy’s sore back.”

A version of this article appeared in our February 2014 issue with the headline “Love, actually,” pp. 47-50.

1 Comment