The Autism Podcast Review: Autism Dad

Rob Gorski was a firefighter and medic when he injured his back. His injury was oddly fortunate, however, because his three sons were experiencing growing behavioural, sensory and emotional challenges along with health issues, and it was too much for his wife to handle at home alone.

To compound difficulties, his wife eventually decided to leave the family. Rob has, therefore, raised his boys as a single Dad.

Gavin, now 24, was developmentally advanced until age four, when -- seemingly out of nowhere -- he experienced massive global regression.  “It was as if he had been abducted by an alien and replaced by a clone, but without personality.” Rob started grieving the “loss” of his son. As an adolescent, Gavin was additionally diagnosed with epilepsy, a weakened immune system and dysautonomia (in which the nervous system does not work properly). Today, however, he is thriving: he recently moved into his own apartment, has a job at a grocery store, and can manage largely independently.

Elliott, 18, was Rob’s seemingly neurotypical child until Rob watched him interacting with his preschool classmates. At that time, he was evaluated and diagnosed with autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression and sensory challenges. As Rob’s “creative genius”, he graduated from high school one year early and is setting up a photography shop to sell his own photos while looking into photography classes at college.

Emmett, 16, was non-speaking as a child. Doctors told Rob he was likely deaf and would never speak, but by age four, he started speaking up a storm. And Emmett remembers not being able to talk. As a child, he had a rare fever disorder, and he has since been diagnosed with ADHD, depression, anxiety and sensory sensitivities in addition to autism. Emmett is academically gifted and started college full-time while still in high school. He doesn’t yet know what he wants to do in the future, although is exploring culinary arts, where he excels.

The Autism Dad Blog and Podcast

Rob struggled with his own emotional turmoil throughout the boys’ childhoods. A few years after Gavin was diagnosed, he started documenting these experiences in what he thought was a private journal he entitled Lost & Tired on WordPress.com. Rob wrote about everything from his sons’ serious health issues to their frightening meltdowns, with windows shattered and ceilings cracked. By writing down his thought processes, he hoped to better manage these feelings of isolation and grief.

He didn’t realize, however, that the public could access WordPress, inadvertently leading parents and caregivers to find him by default. To his surprise, readers told him how much he was helping them: “I didn’t know others felt the same way I do,”  and “I haven’t met anyone like me before.”

Rob’s blog was therefore born in 2010 to validate, comfort and connect parents of autistic children. To date, he has published over 14,000 articles on the blog.

To complement his writing, he launched The Autism Dad podcast in 2019. He shares his family’s story, along with expert interviews, in a raw, honest and transparent manner to provide real-life perspectives, actionable advice and community support. He acts as a sounding board, presenting options rather than telling parents what to do. The podcast has become a valued platform and safe place for parents and caregivers.

The podcast covers a wide range of topics, from shutdowns and meltdowns to co-occurring conditions, assistive technology, sensory versus picky eating, and pathological demand avoidance (PDA). A new episode airs every Wednesday, and the podcast is available on all major platforms and at https://listen.theautismdad.com. To date, Rob has recorded over 250 episodes.

Rob’s Parental Advice

Rob remembers how overwhelming life was when he was getting divorced and was faced with the prospect of raising three autistic boys by himself. He frankly felt his life was over. He now realizes that his kids’ autism diagnoses did not cause the divorce; instead, his wife made an independent decision to walk away from the family. Fortunately, he has found a wonderful partner the boys like and with whom he envisions a future.

Above all, Rob realizes how blessed he is to have three sons who are blossoming into exceptional, independent young men.

Rob himself was diagnosed with ADHD two years ago and is learning a great deal about himself.  Here’s his top advice for us parents:

• “It’s going to be OK. OK can be different for everybody, but you will find a new path after you get that diagnosis and your whole world feels like it’s imploding.  View that diagnosis as helpful, not a representation of where your child will be in the future.”
• “You must take care of yourself. You’re allowed to feel angry, frightened and resentful. You’re allowed to be human. As my therapist recently told me, the stronger you are, the better partner you are, and the stronger partner you are, the better parent you are.  Everyone benefits.”
• “Build a village around yourself.  You are not alone.”
• “It’s all a matter of how you choose to go through the journey, not what you’re doing.”

Rob is indeed fortunate to have his sons in his life. But we, parents and caregivers of autistic children, are equally lucky to benefit from Rob Gorski and his wisdom.