SAHMs: Does a paycheck equal happiness?

Another week, another study. This time Huffington Post rounded up a series of studies and public opinion surveys, and declared that as a SAHM I’m more likely to be unhealthier and unhappier than my peers because I’ve chosen to leave the workforce to raise my children. Depression and obesity were the chief complaints among the stay-at-home crowd — triggering the knee-jerk conclusion that getting a job and making money would solve all of their problems.

 

I can identify with this. It surprised me how much earning money meant to me; when the paycheck disappeared, so did a good amount of self-worth at first. I felt guilty about spending money, even though my husband and I have a joint bank account and he constantly reassures me that, no, he doesn't see me as a financial burden. I'd just never felt that way before — not even when I was the lower wage earner.

But finally, after two years of not earning an income, I’ve been able to let the guilt go (sort of).

 

When I asked my Facebook friends what they thought of the paycheck-equals-happiness theory, both SAHMs and working parents chimed in. 

 

As for me, I think income can be linked to depression. Treating mental illness costs money: Medications and therapy costs are high. If you’re unemployed, how do you justify the expense of medication when you have to put food on the table and pay for housing? Luckily, my husband’s health insurance plan covers treatment, but not all families are that fortunate.

But as they say, money can't buy happiness. Even though we have the best job in the world, SAHMs get depressed for reasons other than money (OK, I got depressed). Echoing what Rhonda said above, no longer living in villages means not having the support network of other like-minded moms — which often leads to loneliness and ultimately depression.

 

To me happiness definitely doesn’t come in the form of a paycheck: It’s about parents sticking together, asking for help when we need it and hugging our partners and babies tight.