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Relationship goals for the New Year

Our relationship columnist, Liza Finlay, suggests adding these 10 "tough-but-toast-worthy" relationship goals to your 2014 resolutions.

By Liza Finlay
Relationship goals for the New Year

Relationship goals for 2013

Relationship resolutions

What do you resolve for your relationship next year? More sex? Less squabbling? Sounds good to me. But here are a few more tough-but-toast-worthy goals to add to your 2014 resolution scorecard.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: Shawn Gearhart/iStockphotos

02Laugh a little

I will learn to laugh at my imperfections — because, when I do so, I’m more likely to chuckle at my partner’s, too. Tolerance: It’s catching.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: Mark Bowden/iStockphoto

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03Lose a little

I will not try to win every argument.

That’s right — you heard me. For every winner there’s a loser, and that’s not a good formula. Instead of trying to be right, I will try to find the right solution to the problem at hand.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: Troels Graugaard/iStockphoto

04No joke

I will not make cutting gibes or jokes at my partner’s expense. A cleverly timed taunt about his “sloth-like tendencies” or “stuck-in-the-80s-style” may earn laughs from others, but sarcasm, even thinly veiled with humour, still stings.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: Catherine Yeulet/iStockphoto

05Talk less

I will talk less and listen more.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: Mari/iStockphoto

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06Observe the rules

I will observe some respectful ground rules when arguing with my spouse: I’ll avoid blaming, shaming and name-calling — and I’ll take a timeout if I’m unable to do any of the aforementioned.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: Marcus Clackson/iStockphoto

07Honestly...

I will not point out my partner’s imperfections in the guise of “trying to be honest” when really I’m trying to be superior.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: artpipi/iStockphoto

08Be happy

I will not make my partner responsible for my happiness. That’s my job. Expecting your spouse to be the answer to your every prayer isn’t a marriage — it’s a cop-out. And for your spouse, it’s a life sentence.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: Daniel Laflor/iStockphoto

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09Keep the kids out of it

I will not put the children in the middle of disputes or use them to sidestep sticky spousal situations.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: Stígur Karlsson/iStockphoto

10Be together

I will go on more date nights!

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: sjlocke/iStockphoto

11Focus on the positive

I will see as many positives as negatives in my partner and in our relationship.

As a rule, aim for a ratio of five positives for every one negative. Every day.

Relationship goals for the New YearPhoto: shironosov/iStockphoto

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Relationship goals for the New Year

Our relationship columnist, Liza Finlay, suggests adding these 10 "tough-but-toast-worthy" relationship goals to your 2014 resolutions.

This article was originally published on Dec 19, 2012

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