Our relationship columnist, Liza Finlay, suggests adding these 10 "tough-but-toast-worthy" relationship goals to your 2014 resolutions.
By Liza Finlay
Updated Apr 05, 2017What do you resolve for your relationship next year? More sex? Less squabbling? Sounds good to me. But here are a few more tough-but-toast-worthy goals to add to your 2014 resolution scorecard.
I will learn to laugh at my imperfections — because, when I do so, I’m more likely to chuckle at my partner’s, too. Tolerance: It’s catching.
I will not try to win every argument.
That’s right — you heard me. For every winner there’s a loser, and that’s not a good formula. Instead of trying to be right, I will try to find the right solution to the problem at hand.
I will not make cutting gibes or jokes at my partner’s expense. A cleverly timed taunt about his “sloth-like tendencies” or “stuck-in-the-80s-style” may earn laughs from others, but sarcasm, even thinly veiled with humour, still stings.
I will observe some respectful ground rules when arguing with my spouse: I’ll avoid blaming, shaming and name-calling — and I’ll take a timeout if I’m unable to do any of the aforementioned.
I will not point out my partner’s imperfections in the guise of “trying to be honest” when really I’m trying to be superior.
I will not make my partner responsible for my happiness. That’s my job. Expecting your spouse to be the answer to your every prayer isn’t a marriage — it’s a cop-out. And for your spouse, it’s a life sentence.
I will not put the children in the middle of disputes or use them to sidestep sticky spousal situations.
I will see as many positives as negatives in my partner and in our relationship.
As a rule, aim for a ratio of five positives for every one negative. Every day.
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Our relationship columnist, Liza Finlay, suggests adding these 10 "tough-but-toast-worthy" relationship goals to your 2014 resolutions.
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