A New Study Confirms It: Personal Time Makes Parents Happier

For a lot of parents, the dream is not a spa day or a weekend away. It is 20 quiet minutes behind a closed door, with nobody asking for a snack, a ride or a missing shoe. A new study suggests that kind of breathing room really does matter: on days when parents had personal time, they felt better emotionally and showed healthier signs of stress recovery.

Theresa Pauly is an assistant professor and Canada Research Chair in Social Relationships, Health, and Aging at Simon Fraser University. Writing in The Conversation about research she led, Pauly says parents who got time for themselves reported more positive emotions, fewer negative ones and healthier cortisol patterns, which are signs of better recovery from stress.

The study, published in Communications Psychology, followed 318 U.S. parents with children under 18 over eight days. Each evening, participants reported whether they had any personal time that day, meaning time that was free from work, caregiving and household responsibilities and could be used for self-directed activities, like reading, exercising, listening to music, doing a hobby, or just taking a break.

But the study makes clear that personal time is not quite the same thing as simply being alone. What mattered more was having time that felt free from demands like work, caregiving and household responsibilities.

Some parents benefited more than others

One of the more interesting findings was that the biggest benefits showed up among parents who scored high in neuroticism, a personality trait linked to worry, emotional sensitivity and greater vulnerability to stress.

For those parents, personal time was tied to a bigger drop in negative emotions and healthier cortisol patterns. Parents who were lower in neuroticism still benefited, but the effect was weaker.

Pauly also found stronger emotional benefits among parents high in openness, a trait associated with curiosity, creativity and a desire for new experiences. In The Conversation article, she suggests that these parents may be more likely to use personal time for activities that actually feel restorative, like reading, writing, reflecting or making art.

Why this feels so relatable

The finding will probably resonate with a lot of parents because it puts research language around something many people feel in real life. Being physically alone does not automatically feel restful if you are answering emails, folding laundry or mentally juggling the next five things on the family calendar. What helps is time that actually feels like your own.

The study cannot prove that personal time directly causes better well-being, but it does add to a growing body of evidence that it matters. Even small pockets of freedom from daily demands may help parents reset, regulate their emotions and feel more like themselves again.

For parents, that is a useful reminder, not just a nice idea. A short walk, a workout, a hobby, a chapter of a book or even an uninterrupted coffee can count. It does not have to be big to be real, and it does not have to be earned after every other need in the house has been met.

This article was crafted with the assistance of an AI language model. The final content was reviewed and edited by a human and reflects the editorial judgment and expertise of Today's Parent.