Sharenting: What You Need to Know

I’m not going to lie – I love social media! After living in two different countries, I have a lot of long-distance friends and family with whom I like to share my life. I am also a full-time freelance journalist, and I do a lot of writing about parenting, meaning I need to brand myself as such: I use social media to share my ideas, projects, and experiences as a parent, and it would be tough to do so without sharing parts of my personal family life.

I heard a discussion on the radio the other day about how we, as parents, are creating the social media identity of our kids before they do. It’s called sharenting, and it starts when we share that first ultrasound photo (something I definitely did) and continues throughout their childhood. Admittedly, I’ve been posting photos and info about my son’s growing-up experience since the day he was born. At 11 years old, he still has no social media accounts; however, I never thought about how my posting his information had gotten the ball rolling.

The dangers of over-sharing

As I flip through Facebook memories with my kid now, I’m starting to realize some of the things I may have posted of him in the past have become embarrassing to my now 11-year-old. For example, photos of him dancing around in shorts or doing something silly when he was little are the types of things that he would not personally choose to post about himself now. Much like I wouldn’t want certain photos up of my life, he has his boundaries, too.

But it goes beyond embarrassment – by posting these things, I inadvertently share a lot of personal information about my son. There are many ways in which online predators can use the information you post for malicious reasons. They could even search for what seem like innocent or sweet photos but have ill intent, including ones of your child in a bathing suit or the bath.

Hackers can also use specific details about your posts to either find your child or use your child’s information to create their own fake identities. Things like school uniforms, the fronts of houses and schools (distinguishable landmarks), and other photo details can be used to learn more about your child. Even asking physical or mental health-related questions in parenting discussion groups could mean disclosing information on your child’s health. The ramifications go on and on.

Protecting your child from the effects of sharenting

There are still ways in which we can share photos and updates on our families without putting them at risk. The first thing to do is ensure all posts have strict privacy settings. You can even create private albums and pages only invited guests can see, which you can limit to close family members and friends. You can ask others not to post photos of your child. Avoid posting any personal information (birth dates, vacation dates, etc.) and avoid posting in real-time. Ensure you don’t include location tags (others can easily locate you or your child). Go through your posts on social media regularly and delete older posts and photos (which should be backed up somewhere safer, like a cloud) – eliminate them all together so you can keep social media photos at a minimum. And be more choosey about what you decide to post – not every moment has to be broadcast across social media platforms (I definitely need this reminder).

So, where does that leave me now? Should I delete everything I’ve ever posted about my son and leave it to him to create his social media identity? I think we should all reexamine the impact of sharenting on our kids. We need to at least be more aware that while we’re interacting on social media, we are also influencing the digital identity of our children, something that could affect them down the road. Post wisely, safely, and with a little more mindfulness.