Reading her diary

Q: Is it OK to read my 13-year-old’s diary if I feel something’s wrong?

A: The simple answer is no. Whether it’s listening in on phone calls or reading her emails, texts, tweets or diary, you are invading her privacy. She will find out and she’ll think you don’t trust her — which often teaches children to be sneaky.

If you think there is something wrong, talk to her. But first be clear on why you believe there is a problem. Tell her you have noticed certain things going on and you are concerned. Then be very quiet and listen to what she has to say.

There may be a logical explanation for what you are feeling or there may be a problem. Either way, you’ve been upfront and honest with her, opening the door to communication.