Parenting

Read this before judging another parent

People seem to have a painfully hard time keeping their mouths shut when it comes to others' parenting decisions. The authors of The Rebel Mama’s Handbook for (Cool) Moms don’t get caught up in that.

At this point, you may still be blissfully unaware of all the drama that plagues mommy groups, both on- and offline. People seem to have a painfully hard time keeping their mouths shut when it comes to other mothers’ parenting decisions. Rebel Mamas don’t get caught up in that shit.

Sure, it’s tempting to judge. It’s natural for us to think that our way is the right way, and that every other way is inherently wrong. But at the end of the day, none of us know jack about other people’s lives, so most of our thoughts and opinions should be kept to ourselves.

Rule #1: Thou Shalt Not Judge Another Woman’s Birthing Choice

There are lots of ways to have a baby: in a hospital, in a tub in your living room, drugged up (and happy about it), drug-free (and happy about it), drug-free (and mad about it), etc. The way a child is brought into the world is nobody’s business but the woman doing the heavy lifting.

Rule #2: Thou Shalt Not Judge Another Family’s Feeding Practices

Breastfeeding and formula feeding are both great ways to make sure babies remain alive and fed, which is all that matters. People make decisions about feeding practices based on their own unique set of circumstances. Don’t say shit about it to them, ever.

Rule #3: Thou Shalt Not Judge Another Family’s Sleep Choices

Whether you choose to co-sleep, sleep train, or not sleep at all does not determine how good a parent you are. When it comes to sleep practices, everyone is just doing whatever works best for them to make it through the night.

Rule #4: Thou Shalt Not Judge Another Family’s Composition

Some people want one kid. Some people want eight kids. Some people want no kids. Some people want to raise their kids by themselves. Some people want to live in a commune and raise their children collectively. None of this has anything to do with you.

Rule #5: Thou Shalt Not Judge Another Mother . . . Ever

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re tempted to fall down the judgment rabbit hole, take a step back. Remind yourself that everyone’s doing their best, just like you are, and redirect your energy to something positive and useful (loving your family and making the best decisions for their overall well-being is a great place to start).

From The Rebel Mama’s Handbook for (Cool) Moms by Aleksandra Jassem and Nikita Stanley (@therebelmama), copyright © 2020 by the authors and reprinted by permission of HarperCollins.