Bathing your preschooler with one hand while changing the baby’s diaper explosion or jiggling the bouncer chair with the other: That’s some Olympic-level ninja parenting right there.
2. Achieving the double nap
It must be a super moon, because you’ve achieved the elusive double nap: both kids asleep at the same time. But instead of relaxing, you document this momentous occasion with a photo on Facebook, thereby jinxing it (rookie mistake). Then you stare at the video monitor with crazy eyes.
First baby born in July, second in December? The sizing of those hand-me-downs doesn’t match the seasons, but you make it work. Layers, Mama. Layers.
4. Making your appearance work
You hit an all-time low on what qualifies as an acceptable appearance. Morning (and/or afternoon) routine: Remove baby snot and cruddy toddler food remnants from day-old clothes (or not); baby lotion totally doubles as face moisturizer; redo your topknot with a Dora the Explorer hair tie; done!
5. Introducing solids
Starting solids with your first kid: You obsess over the guidelines, purée and freeze all-organic produce, buy grass-fed hormone-free meat, take photos and videos of said milestone, sterilize everything she touches and even park outside the hospital the first time she tries peanut butter. Second kid: “Here is some food. Enjoy.”
6. Laundry skills
Your living room has transformed into a laundromat, with at least seven piles at any given time (they make comfy couch pillows, right?): lights, darks, colours, heavy stains, gentle detergent, poop clumps and assorted mismatched tiny socks. Embrace it. It means you’re a pro.
7. Cut yourself some slack
Learning to let go and cutting yourself some slack is key to parenting, especially when you have two. When you figure out that kids don’t care about all-natural wooden toys and Pinterest-worthy birthday parties, and that a little dirt never hurt anyone, you’re well on your way.