The Way You Parent Your Baby Affects Their Development

Parenting comes with a million questions, especially in those early months when everything feels new and scary. How you respond to your baby’s needs, set routines and offer comfort all play a role in their cognitive and emotional development—but there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Every parent wants to do their best, and just by reading this, you’re already taking a thoughtful step in that direction.

To help, we spoke with pediatricians and child development experts about the different infant parenting styles. Ahead, we’ll break down the basics of each style and how it shapes your baby’s growth.

Why your infant parenting style matters

An infant’s early experiences influence how they learn, regulate emotions and build relationships. "Think of a baby’s brain development like a web of connections, every cuddle, response to their cries or moment of eye contact strengthens those pathways," says Dr. Mona Amin, MD, pediatrician and founder of PedsDocTalk. "When caregivers are warm, attentive and responsive, babies learn that the world is safe and predictable, laying the foundation for future social development, emotional and cognitive skills."

Does that mean you need to respond instantly every single time or have it figured out right away? No, nobody does. Figuring out the unique needs of your infant is a process.

What are the main infant parenting styles?

There are four main infant parenting styles: Responsive parenting, authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting and uninvolved parenting.

Responsive Parenting

Responsive parenting or attachment parenting, focuses on tuning into a baby’s cues with warmth, consistency and empathy. "This approach is thought to support secure attachment and emotional resilience, though sometimes it can feel overwhelming when parents worry about always “getting it right," says Dr. Amin. It’s about tuning in, building trust and responding consistently with warmth

For example, Dr. Celeste Simmons, psychologist and owner of Family & Forensic Solutions, says this looks like paying attention to your baby’s non-verbal (or non-crying) signals, noticing patterns in your child’s behaviour and figuring out the best way to address them.

Authoritarian Parenting

According to Dr. Jessica Madden, MD, a board-certified pediatrician and medical director at Aeroflow Breastpumps, authoritarian parents are rigid in their expectations and create “strict rules” that infants and toddlers are expected to follow without flexibility. "For an infant, this may manifest as parents insisting on a strict feeding schedule (as opposed to feeding on demand), expecting a baby to sleep through the night before they are developmentally ready to do so, or getting angry and impatient with normal infant/child behaviour (ie. crying or tantrums)."

Permissive Parenting

According to Dr. Amin, permissive or free-range parents are warm and nurturing with fewer boundaries. This can help kids feel deeply loved but can make it harder for kids to learn emotional regulation and to follow rules as they get older.

With permissive parenting, parents are neither rigid nor do they create a structured environment for their children. "Using infant feeding and sleep as an example, they may allow their babies to sleep or feed wherever or whenever they want, no matter the time of day/night or external circumstances," says Dr. Madden.

Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting occurs when parents do the bare minimum to provide for their babies’ needs. They may provide food and shelter but are otherwise emotionally absent. "For example, they may not hold them close or engage with them as they feed, read to, or play with them," says Dr. Madden. "Children raised by uninvolved parents can have difficulty forming bonds in relationships throughout life, have issues with self-esteem and an inability to trust others."

How do infant parenting styles differ from those used with older children?

According to Dr. Amin, parenting an infant is mostly about nurturing and responsiveness while parenting older children shifts toward guidance and independence. "In infancy, the focus is on meeting basic needs, offering comfort and creating a secure attachment," says Dr. Amin. For older children, "warmth and connection are still key components, but parents start introducing boundaries, problem-solving and encouraging independence."

For example, with an infant, you respond promptly to their hunger cues. With a toddler, you might say, “Snack time is after playtime, let’s pick a fun game to play while we wait!” This helps teach them patience and self-regulation. "The foundational parenting approach is the same—loving and consistent care—but the way it’s expressed shifts as children grow and develop new skills," says Dr. Amin.

What are the benefits and drawbacks of different infant parenting styles?

Now that you know about the different infant parenting styles, it's important to understand the benefits and drawbacks of each.

Responsive Parenting

One of the main benefits of responsive parenting is that it allows parents to create a structured environment for their babies while also being patient and flexible. "They are able to take time and effort to comfort their babies when needed which promotes emotional safety and security," says Dr. Madden.

Responsive parenting can be exhausting. Babies are full of needs. Parents need to find a balance between being caring and exhausted.

Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parenting may help children to become better rule followers, good in school and well-behaved, however, according to Dr. Madden, authoritarian parenting does not promote emotional or psychological safety.

Additionally, Dr. Simmons says children of parents and caregivers who use the authoritarian style have a higher likelihood of becoming shy or could become aggressive and have low self-esteem.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting essentially allows children to do whatever they want and lacks structure. This could be better suited for older children who are seeking more independence but can be more problematic in the younger years when children need boundaries and structure to navigate the world.

"Infants raised by permissive parents lack consistency and may have difficulty with boundaries and forming healthy bonds and attachments with others throughout life," says Dr. Madden.

Uninvolved Parenting

There aren't really any pros to uninvolved parenting. It is generally not recommended by experts and is commonly referred to as "neglectful parenting." According to Madden, children raised by uninvolved parents can have difficulty forming bonds in relationships throughout life, have issues with self-esteem and an inability to trust others.

Practical tips for being more responsive to your infant’s needs

Learn with your baby

Parenting is a learning process. Take the time to do just that. When leaning into responsive parenting, pause, observe, and learn your baby’s cues. "Are they hungry? Tired? Overstimulated? Learning their signals will help you feel more confident in responding," says Dr. Amin.

Create a predictable environment

Predictability gives a child a sense of peace and stability knowing that they can rely on their caregivers. Offer comfort through holding, talking, and making eye contact to help your baby feel safe. Dr. Amin says you can create a predictable environment by having consistent routines for feeding, play and naps. It doesn’t need to be a strict schedule, but consistent patterns can help them feel secure.

Create connection

"Even the little moments, soothing, smiling, narrating your day—these interactions help your baby learn that you’re someone they can trust," says Dr. Amin.

When to seek professional guidance

If you find yourself struggling to take care of your babies’ needs, or if you notice that your partner is struggling, then it might be time to seek professional help. "This can include if you feel you're not bonding with your baby, find yourself losing your patience frequently, are totally overwhelmed, and/or need help in caring for your baby," says Dr. Madden.

Talking to your pediatrician or a licensed marriage and family therapist can be a great first step, but connecting with other parents who’ve been through similar experiences can also provide valuable insight. Dr. Amin reminds parents that asking for help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a normal and important part of parenting.

Experts Dr. Mona Amin, MD, pediatrician and founder of PedsDocTalk Dr. Celeste Simmons, psychologist and owner of Family & Forensic Solutions Dr. Jessica Madden, MD, a board-certified pediatrician and medical director at Aeroflow Breastpumps.