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Parenting

Are Parents Doing Too Much for Valentine's Day?

Whether you make a simple card or buy a little something special, you don’t have to go big on Valentine’s Day to prove your love.

Are Parents Doing Too Much for Valentine's Day?

When I was a kid, my mom would put a Valentine and a foil-wrapped chocolate heart in my lunchbox and call it a day. It wasn’t fancy, but I remember how exciting it was to unfold her simple but heartfelt note while nibbling on my sandwich at my desk. I felt special and loved. It was enough.

Now, though, I’m not sure what a sufficient declaration of adoration for one’s offspring looks like. According to social media, I’m supposed to spend days compiling hefty gift baskets loaded with fluffy pink slippers, oversized stuffed animals, lots of chocolate and much more.

Maybe it’s because I’m still recovering from the holidays (financially, emotionally and energy-wise), but an over-the-top gesture for the kids—despite how entertaining some of the “Valentine's Day Haul” videos happening on social media may be—just feels, well, over the top. But am I shortchanging my daughters if I don’t go all out?

“I don’t believe this is necessary,” says Krista Roesler, a psychotherapist, life coach and co-founder of Psych Company in Toronto. Our kids just want to feel valued and important to us, she says. “This isn’t about buying them gifts; it’s about spending quality time together, listening, being present and supporting them.”

And you can also use Cupid’s Day as an opportunity to teach them about the true meaning of showing someone love. “We can help kids learn that showing appreciation isn’t limited to one day a year,” says Roesler. “It’s about the ways you express love every day.”

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Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t do something fun and festive to celebrate Valentine’s Day, whether you make a simple card or buy them a gift. But I am proposing that we all take it down a notch, or two, and get back to basics with cheap and cheerful activities that don’t require parents to go overboard with gifts and prep.

4 easy ways to celebrate the day of love with your littles

Bake something together

For some families, getting messy in the kitchen is a treasured tradition. On February 14, anything pink, red or heart-shaped is on theme, so the options are almost endless. Think brownies with pink icing, heart-shaped cookies, or even a heart-shaped pizza. Here are some of our favourites.

Have a V-Day-themed movie night

Everyone will be able to feel the love—minus the mushy stuff (eww!)—with one of these crowd-pleasers:

  • Best for toddlers and preschoolers: Winnie the Pooh: A Valentine for You (1999)

  • Best for school-age kids: Gnomeo and Juliet (2011)

  • Best for tweens: Cinderella (2021)

  • Best for the whole gang: The Wild Robot (2024)

And, to really kick it up a notch, combine your flick with your baking and you’ve got movie night treats!

Get crafty (if that’s your thing)

If making homemade Valentines for your friends is a core memory from your childhood, you might enjoy carrying this forward with your kids. Try some of our favourites, including edible playdough, heart marshmallows and heart pop art.

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Take them on a date

This could be a trip to the museum, bowling, or dinner at a favourite burger joint. “Sometimes we simply bundle up and go for a nature walk, followed by a hot chocolate at our local café,” says Roesler.

Whatever you decide to do with your kids this Valentine’s Day, it will be enough if you do it together. “Spending time with your kids is what truly matters,” says Roesler. “It’s the little things that are the most meaningful and special.”

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Karen Robock is a writer, editor and mom of two whose work has appeared in dozens of publications in Canada and the U.S., including Prevention, Reader’s Digest, Canadian Living, and The Toronto Star. Once upon a time, Karen was even the managing editor of Today’s Parent. She lives in Toronto with her husband, school-age daughters, and their two dogs.

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