After ten years of growing, birthing and nursing five babies, meeting with the lactation consultant who helped me wean was almost like therapy.
My first encounter with a lactation consultant was a bit unexpected. Just after giving birth, she showed up in my hospital room, and wanted to “examine my anatomy.” Basically, she was sizing up my boobs to determine just how breastfeeding would go. Then, to help my baby latch, she (with permission) jammed my breast way into his mouth, kicking off a decade of breastfeeding.
Fast forward 10 years and many lactation consults later. I’d been through mastitis, oversupply, undersupply, dozens of pumps, thrush and all the other ups and downs nursing parents know all too well. What I didn’t see coming was how confused I was about weaning my last baby.
When I reached out to my lactation consultant, I felt sheepish. After all, shouldn’t I know how to wean? But in the past, here’s how it went: my baby would hit a year old and be way more interested in regular food. Soon after, I would start trying for another baby. One time, I was already pregnant when I started cutting back on feeds. I weaned over a couple of months. Then, I’d be thrown into a hormonal surge while my body tried to regulate the change, and I’d struggle with anxiety, migraines, exhaustion, dizziness and brain fog.
But this time, I wasn’t having any more kids and wanted to hang on to the sweet parts of nursing just a bit longer. I still loved evening and early morning feeds but wanted to chuck my pump out the window. I discovered a whole world of information I didn’t know about weaning. And I realized there was a lot of support I missed out on.
Most parents seek support from lactation consultants during the early part of their breastfeeding journey. But these trained nursing experts work virtually and in person to help women with all breastfeeding aspects, from latching to milk supply issues to—little did I know—weaning.
Not only did my lactation consultant share more about the physical aspects of weaning such as engorgement relief and infection prevention, but she also shared advice on nursing schedules and routines, foods that could help fill my baby up and opinions on the alternative types of milk I could introduce.
Other supports they can provide, according to Chrisie Rosenthal, board-certified lactation consultant and director of Clinical Resources at The Lactation Network in Chicago, include:
As KellyMom, a well-respected lactation resource puts it, it can be hard because “Weaning marks the end of a physical oneness with your child, the close of a very special period in your lives.” For me, it has been downright devastating after 10 years of growing, birthing, and nursing babies. Meeting with the lactation consultant was almost like therapy—she validated the intense emotions weaning can bring. My interest in continuing to breastfeed was less about wanting to continue nursing, and more about grieving the end of my baby’s infancy.
She told me something that stuck with me: if I wean too abruptly, my body will signal to my brain to launch into grieving mode, as in nature, the only time that would happen is if the child had died. I found this validating to my core, that the bond from nursing shouldn’t be abruptly or even quickly severed, for good reason. She encouraged me to slow my vision of the weaning process down, and that for some it takes many months to do it more comfortably, not just one or two.
Reaching out to a lactation consultant can be very helpful when deciding to wean, especially for women who have struggled with recurrent mastitis, oversupply, chronic breast pain, have multiples, or for those who have a special needs baby, says Ann Gabaldon, lactation consultant, certified nurse midwife, and advisor to Work & Mother from New Mexico.
“These women are at higher risk for complications during weaning and tailoring a plan to meet their specific needs ahead of time with a lactation consultant can save them time, emotional frustration, pain and can offer a decreased risk of infection.”
She also recommends keeping your midwife or OB in the loop if there are issues. Finally, she encourages parents to be flexible and to join a breastfeeding support group. “Not feeling alone is half the battle.”
That sense of community came with an important lesson for me: even the most experienced should accept support.
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