Family life

Bringing sexy back

5 things you can do to put the sizzle back in your relationship

By Haley Overland
Bringing sexy back


You’re busy, tired, and you have cheerios in your hair. At the end of the day, you just want to collapse on the couch and numb out with some trash TV and a bowl of carbs. You may not think so, but you actually do have time to devote to your love life – maybe not as much as you’d like, but a little goes a long way. Here are five things you can do in under an hour to put some sizzle back in your relationship, and keep the love alive:

Date Hour Unable to get out for an evening now and then? How about committing to a date hour? Go for a quick coffee together, or take a lunchtime stroll (exercise is good for the libido!). Life Coach for Moms, Carly Cooper, suggests “trying to bring back some of the things that made you want to get married in the first place.” Cooper recommends marking a date in your calendar at least once a month.

Technological Advances Cooper encourages moms to use technology to do “something small but meaningful” once in a while for their spouse, such as “texting each other during the day just to say ‘I love you,’ or using a Smartphone to send him a photo of you blowing a kiss.” Be sure to keep your photo G-rated, though, because “sometimes Smartphones aren’t so smart, and you could end up sending your racy photo to your mother!”

Sensual Massage According to Registered Massage Therapist/Reflexologist Shelly Faber, “there are many erogenous zones on the body that can trigger the same emotional effect we want to give and receive while making love.” She recommends massaging each other’s feet, not only for the “close body connection,” but also for the “eye contact.” Rub, squeeze, and use finger pressure to caress the whole foot, “and watch him melt.” Of course, make sure he returns the favour!

Emotional Connection As Sex/Marital Therapist Courtney Sidenberg explains, “it’s particularly hard for women to shift gears and really let their partner in when they’ve been in independent mode for long periods of time.” At the end of the day, then, if sex isn’t in the cards, “men, ask your wife how she’s doing, make consistent eye contact, and listen well; women, put a gentle hand on his back, hug him and ask him how he’s doing.”

Sexy sizzle There really can’t be much sizzle in a relationship without sex. Put your post-baby-body inhibitions aside, and go out and get some lingerie. If lingerie doesn’t float your boat, put on a flirty skirt and some lip gloss, turn on the Barry White, lock the door, and just do it. As studies show, the more you do it, the more you’ll crave each other. Of course, do let it take more than an hour now and then. Rawr!

This article was originally published on Jun 10, 2010

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