Are You Tracking Your Kids Online? Here’s What You Need To Know

Many parents feel they should be using digital devices to keep an eye on their kids. Maybe you’ve been considering dropping a tracking device in your kid’s backpack, or you’re using software that lets you track what your teen is doing online. But as the role of tech in parenting grows, it’s important to approach the subject thoughtfully.

How do we strike a balance between keeping our kids safe and helping them to become more independent, not to mention maintaining trust in our relationships with them? Here are some key things to consider based on research with young people from MediaSmarts, Canada’s centre for digital media literacy.

The pros of using surveillance technology

The main reason many parents choose to use tech-based surveillance tools is to protect their children from potential dangers. In a world where online risks are top of mind—like cyberbullying, inappropriate content or stranger contact—parents often feel that surveillance offers an extra layer of protection.

Location trackers

Tracking your child’s location via a GPS-enabled phone or an Airtag can give parents some peace of mind, particularly for kids who are going out on their own for the first time. If you’re going to do this, make sure your kids understand why and how you’ll be using it, and make sure to frame it as a way of letting them be more independent—for instance, by letting them go further from home or do more activities on their own now that you can keep an eye on their location.

Parental controls

When it comes to online risks, there’s an important difference between filters and parental controls (which limit what kind of content kids can see, and in some cases who can contact them) and monitoring apps. Parental controls and apps that monitor screen time can help parents set healthy boundaries and prevent excessive use that may interfere with schoolwork or sleep, but MediaSmarts’ research suggests that they don’t do the job on their own: they have to be accompanied by household rules and routines that help build healthy habits and make your kids understand why these things are important.

Surveillance tools

Surveillance tools like a monitoring app may be appropriate if your child has given you reason to think they need closer supervision. For example, if a child has repeatedly accessed inappropriate content, been mean or cruel to others, or broken your rules about online conduct. It’s important, though, that kids know you are using these tools and what they can do to regain your trust.

The cons of surveillance technology

While there are some benefits to using technology for online monitoring (with your kid’s knowledge), it's important to consider the potential downsides as well.

One of the biggest concerns is the impact on your child’s privacy. All children, even young ones, have a right to privacy, and excessive surveillance can make them feel as though their personal space is being invaded. MediaSmarts' research shows that two-thirds of youth agree that parents shouldn’t listen in on their kids’ online conversations or read kids’ texts.

Surveillance can also unintentionally erode trust. Even when they’re aware they’re being monitored, when children feel that their every move is being scrutinized, they may become less likely to share information openly. This can lead to secrecy and a communication breakdown.

Relying too heavily on surveillance tools can also cause parents to overlook the importance of direct conversations and personal guidance. Instead of fostering independence and critical thinking, constant monitoring might make kids feel like they’re being treated like “projects” rather than trusted individuals. Plus, it’s impossible to monitor your kids' activities all the time, so it’s best not to rely fully on this strategy.

Building trust with your kids

Surveillance doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing approach. The key is balance and open communication. Here's how to navigate this tricky territory:

Go online with your kids: Consider keeping computers and other devices in open, communal spaces rather than letting kids have devices in their bedrooms. Be there to answer questions and ask about what they’re doing online. Learn about the apps they’re using and navigate these spaces together, especially when kids are just starting to use certain apps or devices.

Use parental controls and settings: Most apps, games and websites offer parental controls that will help prevent kids from seeing things they’re not supposed to. Many social networks now offer a safer experience for users in their early teens, so make sure your child has given their correct age when they signed up. If they really want to use a social network app before they’re 13, you can make shared or supervised accounts on many of them.

Set clear expectations together: Rather than imposing surveillance tools on your child without discussion, involve them in the process. Have a conversation about why you’re setting certain boundaries—whether it’s for their safety or health—and agree on what those boundaries should look like. When kids understand the reasoning behind your decisions, they are more likely to respect them. (We have tips on setting household rules here.)

Encourage responsibility: Instead of constantly monitoring, help your child understand the value of responsible technology use. Create a family contract regarding devices and platforms, and encourage them to be mindful of their online behavior. Empower them with the tools they need to make safe decisions independently and be there to support them when they need help.

Create a safe space for conversations: Trust is built when kids feel they can talk to you without fear of punishment or judgment. Let your kids know that they can come to you with any issues they face online or offline. Open the door for honest, age-appropriate discussions about their experiences, whether it's about cyberbullying, social media pressures or just their day-to-day lives.

Know when to step back: As kids grow older, they’ll need more autonomy to navigate the digital world on their own. Trusting them with more freedom—while still offering guidance and a safety net—can help strengthen your relationship. Monitoring should gradually become less about surveillance and more about providing ongoing support when necessary.

Tech-based surveillance tools can offer benefits when it comes to protecting your children in an increasingly digital world, but it’s important not to let them get in the way of building and maintaining trust with your kids. The goal is not just to monitor kids but to help them grow into responsible, independent individuals. By fostering trust, understanding and open conversations, parents can create a safer, more supportive environment for their children—without the need for constant surveillance.