Parenting

20 surprising stay-at-home-mom confessions

While these SAHM’s don’t regret staying home, they confess that its nothing like what they thought it would be.

Jen with her family. The Mamarazzi Photography.

Welcome to your first day as a stay-at-home mom! You’ve whipped up a batch of organic sweet potato baby food and your soy latte is too hot to drink so you are taking the time to straighten your hair before going to parent-and-tot yoga. If you’re like me, that’s how you pictured life as a stay-at-home mom. In reality, your instant coffee has been reheated for the third time, yoga is when you reach under the bed for half-eaten apples and you’ve stopped saying no when your kids ask for pancakes for supper (even though that is what they had for breakfast).

I know I’m in good company when it comes to realizing that the vision I had of being a SAHM doesn’t exactly match real life. I asked my Twitter and Facebook SAHM pals what they think and here’s what they said:

Financial frustrations
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t worry about money, but my husband accurately points out that I’ve always worried about money. I’d find something else to be anxious about even if we won the lottery.

  • My biggest surprise is how I was treated recently when hubby and I went to buy a car. I couldn’t be put on the loan with my husband because I have no income. It made me feel like what I do isn’t important. @CaitieCleary via Twitter
  • For me, the money guilt was surprising. Five-plus years later and I still feel it. @justleigh73 via Twitter
  • For five years I was a work-at-home mom with my own business. Now that it’s closed, I really miss having an income. Seeing an empty personal chequing account stinks. @Clippo via Twitter

It’s lonely…
Despite being surrounded by my family 24/7 (since I’m home with my children and my husband works from home) being a stay-at-home mom is a lonely gig. I’ve been lucky to meet many awesome SAHMs, but it doesn’t always make me feel less isolated.

  • Being so isolated surprised me. I thought SAHM life was going to be all play dates and ladies-who-lunch breaks. @ParentClub via Twitter
  • I was surprised that there were so few others out there to “play” with. Karen W. via Facebook
  • I didn’t really realize how lonely I would feel. I was the first one out of my circle of friends to get married then have children. Some didn’t understand that; “no, I can’t go to the bar and drink as I have to either pump and/or breastfeed.” Jessica J. via Facebook

Except when it’s not…
I’ve started locking the bathroom door when I’m in there. The paradox of being a SAHM means that you’re lonely, but never alone.

  • It is way harder than I thought. I rarely have more than a minute alone. @onlygirljenn via Twitter
  • I wanted so bad to be home with the kids and not miss a minute, now I just want some “me” time. The grocery store doesn’t count. @DDivasnDudes via Twitter
  • What surprised me is the lack of privacy and the enjoyment of silence. @Czyscontwins via Twitter

It doesn’t get easier
As a SAHM, you hope one day your kids will listen, the laundry will do itself and you’ll feel at peace with the decision you made. Two years later, I’ve yet to have a day that runs smoothly. Ditto for these moms.

  • With one child, it was easier. He was already a toddler when I was laid off. With my newborn, I’m trying to balance both. ?@siahs_baby via Twitter
  • The fact that no matter how many hours there are in a day I still struggle to get everything done. @melzdw via Twitter
  • I’m surprised how much I loathe making breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday! I need a personal chef! @IBKerri via Twitter
  • When I only had two children, my house was immaculate. Now with four (almost five), we look like the aftermath of the apocalypse. @Sjgpotter vai Twitter

But we wouldn’t change a thing
I dream of a full-time paycheque, ditching the monotony of cleaning my kitchen and playing Lego, but I can’t imagine doing anything else than staying home with my children. My pals echo this sentiment.

  • Being a SAHM is the most extreme thing I’ve done. More than cycling across Canada, climbing Kiliminjaro and triathlon. But also way more payoff! @klagden via Twitter
  • I used my mat leave as an experiment to see if I would like staying at home, and the biggest surprise was I did. I honestly did not see that coming. Cara Y. via Facebook
  • Now that both my kids are in school (the youngest is home every other day still) I have become even more grateful for being a SAHM. I love being the one that gets them on the bus in the morning, or if they are lagging behind I have the freedom to drive them. Diane L. via Facebook
  • How excited I am to go out and get some new toys to play with! @wolfepack245 via Twitter
  • No matter how many tired and crazy moments, enjoy every moment, they grow up so quickly and that every laugh makes it worthwhile. @BSmedvig via Twitter

Fess up: What surprised you the most about becoming a SAHM?