Blue Ivy's allowance is sightly out of control

Family outings are a precious way to spend time together and make some lasting memories. As a kid, I remember my parents taking me to productions of plays put on by my neighbourhood community theatre troop. I would put on my absolute best look from Jacob Junior, pin my hair up with sparkly berets and relish every moment I got to stay up past my bedtime—and clearly, my fam isn’t the only one who enjoyed getting dressed up for a night of culture and drama.

On Saturday, America’s royal couple Beyoncé and Jay-Z took reigning princess Blue Ivy out for a night of fancy family fun in Los Angeles. It was basically the artsy evenings of my childhood, except instead of heading to their local production of Annie, the Knowles-Carter clan opted for the second annual Wearable Art Gala. Same, same, but different.

When I was a kid, “wearable art” referred my hideous attempt at DIY tie-dye, but Blue seemed to have a different interpretation. The six-year-old showed up to the L.A. gala, where one grandmother (Tina Knowles) was the host and the other (Gloria Carter) was being honoured for her humanitarian work, in a shining gold dress and matching wig.

Blue’s outfit also coordinated with her mother’s custom golden gown from Falguni Shane Peacock—so, we were basically witnessing the Carter-Knowles version of family matching outfits. Stars, they’re just like us!

While her outfit was enough to catch people’s attention, Blue stepped up her game during the gala’s live auction, bidding on high-end works of art. I mean, a kid’s got a right to start making some decor decisions. For instance, when I was six, I selected a teddy bear-themed wallpaper border for my all-pink room. Current six-year-old Blue raised a paddle pledging $17,000 for an acrylic portrait of Sidney Poitier. And when that wasn’t enough, she bid again, offering up $19,000—at which point Jay-Z jokingly attempted to grab the paddle back from his high rollin’ daughter.

via GIPHY

Ugh, dads can be so embarrassing, amiright? First the over exuberance at the the GRAMMYs, and now this? I feel like this is a rare glimpse at Jay-Z going full dad mode, meaning that we’re only one step away from him wearing Kirkland-brand khakis and making corny jokes followed by his signature “ah ha.”

Despite Jay-Z’s attempt to curb the first grader-turned-art collector, Blue persisted. (I mean, we are talking about the offspring of the female empowerment anthem “Who Run the World?” so would you expect anything less?)

Blue got outbid for the Poitier painting by Tyler Perry, but the tiny heiress didn’t go home empty-handed. She later made the winning $10,000 bid on a square art piece by Samuel Levi Jones composed of deconstructed law and medical books. And from the sounds of it, that is basically the equivalent of Blue tossing pennies in a fountain.

Seriously, how much is this kid’s allowance? At her age, I’m pretty sure that I had worked my way up to a solid $5 a month—enough to get an absolute plethora of off-brand toys from Dollarama and make me feel like the tiny Indian version of Richie Rich. And then here comes Blue, willing to drop more than my entire year’s rent with a dainty wave of her hand? Girl must be getting some serious cashish.

Rumi and Sir better recognize, their big sis is paving the way for a whole new kind of childhood.

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