Update: Unfortunately for us the best part of this hilarious story wasn't true.
"The part about the police coming and the breathalyzer was just something I added for dramatic effect for my wife in the moment," confesses Ben Patterson on Facebook. So it was just a hoax to get his wife to answer her phone.
To be fair, Ben went down and explained the situation to the Burlingame PD because he felt bad for mocking them. Thankfully, they had a good laugh.
As for his wife, she wasn't ignoring his desperate texts on purpose, she was in a loud restaurant and couldn't hear her phone. When she finally got his messages she called right away. She also handled the clean up by herself to save her husband from more trauma.
Ben shared a photo of his son (not covered in puke) and we've got to agree with him, the cleaned up Declan is "pretty darn cute."
Every parent has one—a horrible, awful kid-puking-story. But this dad's story takes the cake (sorry to bring up food and vomit!).
Ben Patterson was driving his toddler Declan home when the puke hit the fan. Obviously Ben had to immediately text his wife.
GAH! That image. The chunks.
I too can't deal with barf, so I feel this dad's pain. But things really escalated from both dad and Declan puking.
As if puke in the car wasn't bad enough, now the cops are involved. And they didn't even help him clean up the kid. Clearly they are not sympathetic vomiters or they would have understood his pain. And not made him take a breathalyzer.
Phew he passed the breathalyzer! But poor Declan. Smelling like rotting whale blubber is not fun (sorry, I just kind of vomited in my mouth at the thought) And because kids are kids, I bet Declan asked for food right after this incident.
I think my favourite part of this text exchange is the ANSWER YOUR PHONE message. Mom Stephanie was actually out with friends and I am sure she was reading these texts, with a drink in hand, and having a good laugh. You gotta be grateful when you miss puke-ageddon
Keep up with your baby's development, get the latest parenting content and receive special offers from our partners