Last summer, Tina Fey told David Letterman her daughter, Penelope, 3, wasn't a fan of the bath. "She got real mad that I took her out of the bath," Tina said. "And she looked me square in the eyes, and with two tiny little hands, choked me... And it’s so funny because they’re not strong enough to kill you.”
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"He's great," Amy Poehler tells Jimmy Kimmel of her older son, Archie. "He's in kindergarten and it's really great because he comes home with a lot of information, like, a bad game of Telephone—everything's a little off, but it's really cute. So, yesterday he said to me, 'You know, Mom, we're made out of meat.' And I said, 'Yeah, I guess, meat and bones...tissue.' And he was, like, 'Yeah, there's meat inside us.' And I said, 'Yeah, I think you're right.' And then he said, 'And also, what does furniture mean?'"
She goes on to joke about little Abel, who, she says, "has red hair and a lisp, which is just a jackpot for me." Since his lisp is "so cute," they get him to say things with it all the time: Poor thing doesn't like "spicy salsa"—so they make him say it over and over! Listen to her tell this whole thing to Jimmy here (funny!).
“[Ben]’s so psyched to finally have a boy," Jennifer Garner told Jimmy Fallon last month. "He loves his girls, but he’s serious about his son right now. So he taught him about his bits. He taught him about his P and two N’s. Now, every time we pass a dog who’s walking on the street, or if we’re at a zoo or something, our poor little son is crouching down, looking up, and he’s like, ‘Mama, does that have a vagina or a penis and two nuts?’ That’s what Ben has been up to."
"Sometimes Sam will look at me," she continues, "and he’ll say, ‘But Mama calls them testicles.'" Awesome.
"The older ones recently saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith and I think they thought it was the funniest thing they'd ever seen," Angelina Jolie shared at a recent Maleficent press conference. "Watching your parents fight as spies is some kind of strange fantasy.”
"My littlest one, Knox, sees Tomb Raider and thinks that Mommy can do all those things," she adds.
"It's like one of her doll babies came alive," Halle Berry says of daughter Nahla and five-month-old Maceo. "She gets to take care of him, feed him, change his diapers, play with him, dress him up in different clothes like five times a day because she can, so she loves it."
Read more: 40 and pregnant: Celebrities we love>
"North peed on Kanye in that shot," Kim Kardashian tells Late Night's Seth Myers of her controversial Vogue shoot with one-year-old North and fiancé Kanye West. "He was trying to tell me. I had to get up and clean him off." Glam!
Read more: Kim Kardashian's massive Mother's Day gift>
On the red carpet at this year's Oscars, Frozen star Idina Menzel gushed about her four-year-old son, Walker: "One day I practised 'Let it Go' somewhere, and I forgot the words, and I came home and I said, 'Walker, Mommy forgot the words to "Let it go,"' and he said, 'did you say "let it snow, let it snow"?' and I was, like, 'you have no faith in me!'" Cute!
Read more: Oscars 2014: Moms who rocked the red carpet>
Favourite and funny celebrity parenting tips>
Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Matt Damon! Check out these smart, curious and hilarious parenting tips and strategies from the stars.
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