Eva Mendes opens up about motherhood and baby's name

The long silence has been broken!

In an interview with Violet Grey's digital publication, The Violet Files, Eva Mendes, 40, speaks for the first time about her very private pregnancy, and life with Ryan Gosling, 34, and their two-month-old baby girl, Esmeralda. We even get to learn the inspiration behind the baby's unique name!

Read more: It's a girl for Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes>

"We both love the Esmeralda character from the Victor Hugo novel The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and just think it is a beautiful name," Eva says. "Her middle is Amada, which was my grandmother's name. It means 'beloved' in Spanish. We were really excited about naming her."

As for new motherhood, Eva admits she's wiped. "I'm completely exhausted," she says. "I thought my wild nights were over but these are some of the wildest nights I've ever had."

Hmmm, I've never thought of baby all-nighters as "wild," but...Ryan Gosling is there.

Read more: Celebrity parents: Baby before marriage>

And, what are they doing for help? Do they have a nanny on board? Nope. Eva says they've been relying on family.

"But as far as a nanny or night nurse," she tells The Violet Files, "for me that part of being a mother at this early stage is the struggle of not being able to sleep and not knowing what I'm doing and really going through it with her and battling out those nights."

Like many of us, motherhood has made Eva appreciate her own mom more. "I cannot believe that by the time my mother was 24 she had three kids under the age of four," she recalls. "She was in Cuba and totally alone. So when it's the wee hours of the night and I'm feeling a bit insane I think about her and realize that I have no right to complain about anything."

That is correct, Eva, you have no right to complain. Ever. *Cough* Ryan Gosling *cough.*

Read more: Heartthrob dads: Celebrities we love>

Above all, though, motherhood for Eva involves being present and accountable. "The idea that I would ever embarrass her is really heartbreaking for me," she says. And she's becoming acutely empathetic in the process. "I’ve learned that it’s way harder to be a baby," she explains. "Everything is a struggle for her. For instance, I haven’t thrown up since the '90s and she’s thrown up twice since we started this interview. Motherhood is cake compared to what it’s like to be a baby." Interesting way of looking at it!

Read more: Celebrity parents: Love at first take>

Just for fun, what do you think? Easier to be the baby or the mom?!

Check out the whole interview—including comments on her private pregnancy—over at The Violet Files. 

Love!
xo Haley-O
Celebrity Candy: Follow along as Haley Overland delivers the latest scoop on celebrity families—plus sweet celeb interviews! You can’t have too much of this candy, so check back often.