Is Your Toddler Pointing Non-Stop? Why That's Great News

Even though toddlers can't form full sentences yet, they're actually better at communicating than you might realize. A recent study reveals that even at just 18 months old, toddlers can size up what their parents know and use pointing gestures to share information. Intrigued? Let's dive into the fascinating world of toddler communication.

What the study shows about toddler communication

If you have a toddler, you know that they point all day long. They point at animals, other kids and food they want to eat—usually off your plate. And they can get frustrated when you're not picking up what they're trying to tell you. Why? Probably because what seems like adorable toddler behaviour is actually deeply sophisticated communication.

Released by MIT Press in October 2024, the new study explored how infants between 12 and 18 months use pointing to communicate with their parents and other adults.

Turns out, when toddlers point, they’re not just saying, 'Hey, look at this!'—they’re actually showing off some serious smarts. The study found that even 18-month-olds can figure out what their grown-ups know (or don’t know) and tweak their gestures to fill in the gaps. If the adult is clueless or has the wrong idea about where something is, these tiny communicators step up their pointing game to make things crystal clear. Lead researcher Tibor Tauzin calls this impressive skill 'early communicative mindreading'—basically, it’s toddlers’ way of making sure everyone’s on the same page.

Carly Tulloch and Katie Sterbenz, founders of pediatric speech pathology brand Wee Talkers, confirm these findings. Tulloch states, "All forms of communication are meaningful—their gestures, facial expressions, even pushing a stool to the snack cabinet is a meaningful way they communicate their wants and needs."

Building on this, Sterbenz adds, "It's easy to just think of first words, but there are actually a lot of prelinguistic skills that have to be in place before they start talking. These prelinguistic skills aren't always quite as obvious, but they're important nonetheless."

In essence, these tiny tots are not only communicating non-verbally before mastering speech, but their methods and the thought processes behind them are much more complex than you might think.

What this means for parents

Babies are natural communicators—even if they can be hard to understand sometimes. Here's how to listen—or watch—closely so you're met with fewer tantrums when you hand them a toy and they want a cookie. Don't worry if you keep getting it wrong. The important thing is to show that you're interested and encourage them to talk one day.

Observe more closely

Toddlers often use gestures to tell their parents something important, especially when they think their parents don't have all the information. That's why Sterbenz recommends that parents pay close attention to what their child is trying to show them and respond accordingly.

"We recommend parents notice what their child is noticing or when they’re trying to communicate, acknowledge and assign meaning to their child’s communication attempt, and give their toddler the words–show them what they could say if they were able to say it," she says. "Eventually, they’ll learn to say the words on their own."

Be patient and attentive

When toddlers think adults don't get what they're saying, they might keep doing the same action over and over. To help with this, Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin, a parenting expert and CEO of a parenting support group called Parents Anonymous, says parents should take a look at what their child is trying to show them and react to it accordingly. If you seem to get it wrong, try again.

"Toddlers are learning how to communicate, so they may not always express themselves clearly," she says. "Give them time to respond and show patience while they try to form their thoughts."

Encourage your child to engage in interactive play

According to Liora Seltzer, a parenting coach and educator, play is the most effective way for young children to learn. She suggests integrating activities that build communication skills into playtime. This can create more opportunities for your child to communicate.

"For example, you can improve children's learning by playing games where you point to objects and name them or sing about them. Additionally, engaging in movement activities around the house can be beneficial. These fun interactions help toddlers better understand and express their wants and needs."

Talk to your toddler

Sarah Kucker, PhD, a developmental psychologist and researcher specializing in early childhood cognitive development, says that talking to your kids is equally important in supporting their development.

She explains, "I often tell parents that the best way to foster early language is to simply talk to their kids, even if the child doesn’t know how to respond yet. When you are changing their diaper, making dinner or grocery shopping, talk to them and narrate what you are doing. They will sometimes nod, smile or coo, and your response to that is incredibly helpful for learning and bonding."

Other Tips for nurturing your toddler’s communication

Ask simple questions

Even if your toddler isn't speaking in complete sentences yet, it's important to keep talking to them regularly to help them learn language. Pion-Berlin suggests asking simple, open-ended questions like "Is this what you wanted to show me?"

"This is an excellent strategy to engage a toddler’s communication skills, as it helps encourage thinking and builds confidence in what they want to say," she says.

Reinforce language skills with books

Another way to nurture your child's communication skills is to read their favourite books together. According to Pion-Berlin, "Interactive books with pictures and lots of questions are the easiest way to encourage young kids to communicate more." By a year old, most babies can nod or shake their heads to say yes or no.

Always respond positively

While there many strategies that parents can use to nurture a toddler’s language development, Pion-Berlin suggests that the most important thing is to create a safe and positive environment where the toddler can really thrive.

"The best way to encourage communication is to respond positively to your child and make talking more fun, which will in turn help grow their language skills," she says. "When you respond with enthusiasm, toddlers begin to associate communication with positive feelings, making it more likely they’ll keep trying. Positive responses also help teach toddlers that communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about engaging and connecting with others."

Why early communication matters

Early communication plays a vital role in a child's development. It helps children build trust, learn language, and grow their ability to understand others' feelings.

"Our ability to communicate effectively is fundamental to success in life," explains Kuckard. "For young children, early exposure to language is the primary way they develop communication skills. This exposure mainly occurs through social interactions, with children learning from the language used by peers and caregivers around them."

Experts:

• Dr. Lisa Pion-Berlin is a parenting expert, licensed hypnotherapist, and CEO of Parents Anonymous®, a support group for parents and caregivers.
• Sarah C. Kucker, PhD, is a developmental psychologist and researcher specializing in early childhood cognitive development.
• Liora Seltzer is a parent coach, professional organizer, educator, and founder of What U Keep, LLC. From Fair Lawn, NJ.
• Carly Tulloch and Katie Sterbenz are the founders of the pediatric speech pathology brand Wee Talkers.