A beautiful C-section
Major abdominal surgery isn't normally associated with peace, power and beauty. Kristin explains why the Caesarian birth of her second son, Jude, was all three of those things and more
Baby Jude, minutes old, inching up to meet his Mama (author's own image)
Jude Austin Auger was born on Thursday, February 16th at 11:11 a.m. He was born via Caesarian section, and it was an indescribably beautiful experience.
Yes, there were metal tools and whirring noises and machines with ominous green and red lights. There were diagnostic blips on unreadable machines and blue paper masks and a cold, fluorescent light. I was scared going in, I’d had time to let my imagination run wild. What would happen to my six-year-old if I died of a rare anesthetic complication? What if something went wrong and I didn’t die and my legs were paralyzed and I became Corey’s burden?
The admitting nurses couldn’t get the drip needle into my right hand and I choked back terrified tears more than a few times but, in the end, this is what mattered: Corey’s hand squeezing my fingers, his eyes locked on mine as doctors cut into a lower body I couldn’t feel. Here too, is what stands out: the soft-eyed anesthesiologist, who startled me with her age ("I’m not that young,” she said when I expressed surprise at her youth, expecting that all anesthesiologists should be serious-faced men in their 50s. "I’m the same age as you.”) and her calm thoroughness. I remember the scrub nurse in her yellow flowered cap, reassuring me with smiling eyes and distracting little jokes.
The gentle words, kind explanations and the warmth of my husband’s hand far outweighed the fact that I was lying splay-legged on a cold table, a doctor’s signature scrawled across my abdomen.
Here is what I will never forget: the jagged cry of my baby as he first met life outside my womb, and the powerful thud of my heart as I watched the man I love carry his son over to me, tears moist in his eyes.
I experienced one of the most vivid and powerful moments of my life as my minutes-old son was placed on my chest by my heart. The room was suddenly silent, the machine beeps muted, as my infant son struggled to raise his head to look into my eyes. I instantly recognized him as part of my soul, as part of Corey's heart. That’s when I really lost control of my emotions and started crying with joy and gratitude and with the heaviness of having experienced firsthand what can only accurately be described as a complete and utter miracle.
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What do you think?
dshafali says ....
Hi Kristin~
Thank you for sharing in your story. Congratulations to you and Corey on the arrival of your beautiful baby Jude! I was in tears when reading your article, as it brought back memories of my (unfortunately, emergency) C-section two years ago...I don't have any beautiful memories of the birth of my son, as I had to be fully sedated…I didn’t know how serious my situation was until the anesthesiologist looked at me and told me “breath for your child”…
Needless to say, our son was delivered in 8mins - healthy and very alert, considering we almost lost him..We found out later that our son went into cardiac arrest, due to my placenta rupturing…
We owe my life and our son's to the amazingly skilled OBGYN on call that night and the entire medical staff that worked around the clock to ensure the safe delivery our child.
I am still very traumatized with the birthing experience, but every time I look at my son, he reminds me of God's love and his miracles!
Regards,
d
Nadine Silverthorne says ....
K, thank you for sharing this story. I am over the moon with joy and can't wait to meet the little man come August. You think he'll like Irish bars as much as we do?
Amy Baskin says ....
Congrats! And I can't believe you wrote this beautiful post with sleep-deprived, new baby brain. Wishing you much joy.
Tracy Chappell says ....
So happy to hear of Jude's safe arrival and that his birth was such a perfect, beautiful moment. All the best!
Anonymous says ....
Just simply beautiful! I had the same experience with a natural, vaginal birth. It is reassuring and comforting to know women can have the same intense and powerful birth experience with a c-section.
Kristin M (not verified) says ....
This sounds so much like the births of my own 2 children. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing a cesarean story that isn't full of negativity. I've found that so many of them are, and to be truthful I could never relate. I found the whole experience to be a little bit scary, yes, but also calm and reasonably pleasant and full of so much joy! Congratulations on the birth of your son!
Kristi W (not verified) says ....
When the end result is a perfect beautiful baby...what difference does it make how he/she arrived! Love the way you wrote this...it could be my birth story as well. I had never had any type of surgery, never had an IV (or ended up with blown veins and a second, painful attempt). The unknown is terrifying...but a means to a breathtaking end! Congratulations on your perfect miracle!
Jennifer Pinarski says ....
Gorgeous and perfect. Congratulations!
Kristin (not verified) says ....
Beautiful article Kristin. Thank you for writing this for all of the women who have had c-sections and haven't felt as though we missed out on anything. I have cherished both of my daughters births (2 c-sections) and have never wished it any other way.
Ani (not verified) says ....
That picture is BEAUTIFUL. It literally made me cry. There is something about the way he is looking at you, and oh my God I'm crying again. Thank you for sharing. Thank you!