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Birthday parties

How to host a "welcome party" for adopted babies

When Harriet Fancott adopted her son, Theo, her friends held a "Welcome Party" instead of a baby shower. Here she shares her awesome tips.

By Laura Grande
Harriet with Theo and husband, Mark. Photo provided by Harriet Fancott.

Harriet with Theo and husband, Mark. Photo provided by Harriet Fancott.

Q: Did you play a role in planning the welcome party or did you leave all the planning to a few pals? A: We found out we were becoming parents about six weeks before our son Theo’s birth. Several good friends asked me what I would like in terms of a shower, which was so sweet. I said a Jack and Jill Welcome Party to be held several months after the birth. I wanted our child to be welcomed into our family as well as a community of loving friends and children. Other than approving a date and asking me about a gift, my friends planned everything.

Q: You held off on having the party until after the 30-day revocation period. How did it feel when the 30 days passed and you knew Theo was all yours? A: Just to be safe, we decided to wait until after the 30 days was up. It felt more secure to wait until we knew we were 100% parents. That said, I’ve never thought of Theo as all mine. I recognize that he also has an important lifelong connection to his birth family.

Q: What types of gifts did you receive? A: Theo was several months old by the time we had the party so we decided that donations for a stroller would be the most useful. It was the only thing we needed at that point. Our party host placed a discreet money box at the front door to collect for the stroller....I really didn’t need or care about the gifts, I just wanted to bring everyone together to welcome our son into our lives.

Q: What were some of the reactions you got about the welcome party from your guests? A: People were ecstatic. It was a stunning fall day and everyone took turns holding Theo and having their photo taken. It was just a wonderful community love-in!

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Q: Do you have any tips or recommendations for people who are planning to host a welcome party?
A: If you are hosting, you should check in with the new parents to see what they want and make sure they are ready for a party. They may need time alone with the baby or child first. In some cases, new moms and dads do not want others holding their children until they’ve attached with them; in which case, the host should let people know in advance. Every adoption situation is different. Some kids are older when they arrive; some are babies. Either way, the number one thing is to make sure that you have a welcome party. Make sure your friends and family know that just because you didn’t give birth does not mean you don’t deserve a party! Q: What was your favourite moment that day?
A: Having all my nearest and dearest together in one place and seeing how happy they were for us.

This article was originally published on Apr 03, 2012

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