Photo: @NerdyDancer_ via Instagram
We've seen plenty of awful baby shower cakes in our time, but this one takes it TOO. FAR.
(Warning: This cake is capital-G gross, so scroll down at your own risk.)
As if the bloody baby doll head emerging from a fondant vagina detailed with chocolate sprinkle pubic hair (disturbing side note: Why are the baby's eyes WIDE OPEN?), isn't jarring enough, look to the base of the "cake" for an extremely not-sweet surprise.
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That's right. The cake has a second orifice and it's making Lincoln Logs. *Cue the chorus of vomit noises*
This cake is equal parts disgusting and #truelife: Sometimes all that pushing means things other than a baby get expelled from the body, but is a baby shower—or a cake platter, for that matter—really the place for such a graphic reminder? Props to the baker who made those realistic turds, but they could be made from the most delicious chocolate and they still wouldn't come anywhere near our mouths. We're gonna have to pass on dessert this time.
Hopefully the mom-to-be was in on the joke, because this is one surprise we wouldn't wish on anyone.
These other cakes aren't as awful, but they are really creepy. Check 'em out:
We could make a ginger joke, but we won’t. So, uh, why is this cake an actual gingerbread woman pushing out a baby?!Photo: Imgur.com
We hope very much for the sake of the mom in question that her baby doesn’t just zombie out of her gut on his own. That looks a little painful.Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
OK, we can’t all be artisically inclined. But this nondimensional cake is truly the stuff of nightmares.Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
Congrats on giving birth to Satan.Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
And sometimes, apparently, you give birth to a toddler?Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
Does anyone else think Sunset Blvd (“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up”) when they see this? So creepy. But in all honesty, I bet those glazed strawberries and that chocolate sprinkle butthole taste pretty good.Photo: Theremina via Pinterest
The doll-face cake was tame compared to this business. Nope. No. This one is making us never want to eat cake again (and that’s a very serious statement). Rachel, we are very, very sorry.Photo: Just Jojo's via Pinterest
When it comes time to teach Baby Gentri about sex, this cake will do all the work.Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
What we want to know is WHY DOES THIS BABY HAVE TEETH?! Looks painful. Does anyone else think the vagina totally looks like a Piranha Plant from the Mario Brothers videogame?Photo: Kasserina via Pinterest
OK, this one is kind of sweet. Creepy, for sure, but definitely sweet, too. 10/10 would eat this cake and enjoy it.Photo: Pinterest
Can we please just appreciate the detail of this weird cake? Seriously, the fondant skin has that “glow”; the sheet is so artfully draped, and even the stretch marks look authentic. We would definitely partake in a piece of the leg. Forks up!Photo: Wooden Spoon Cakes via Pinterest
Some might think this is sweet, but wee fondant feet kicking out of a stomach makes us raise our eyebrows.Photo: Cake Central via Pinterest
Oh, good, I always wanted to try a slice of placenta cake with a side of medical instruments.Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
So, this cake is, uh, interesting? Bravo to the cake designers for creating such a life-like pretty-much-still-a-fetus confection, but it’s just so gross. Who requests this kind of cake, really? Why is it blue? We have so many questions.Photo: CakeWrecks via Pinterest
There’s something so endearing about this fresh-faced Cabbage Patch doll peeking out of a rather unappetizing vagina.Photo: i-am-bored.com
Baby Ethan looks demonic! The person who made this is either a really bad cake decorator or really hates the Robinson family.Photo: Pinterest
OK, so Christina Aguleria had a creepy cake, too, but hers seems much more tame than some of the others. Maybe it’s because her cake self has painted fingernails.Photo: Getty via Pinterest
Mazel tov on the arrival of your baby swamp monster?Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
So, according to this cake, childbirth will turn you into a character on The Walking Dead.Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
Not sure which is worse, the pink zebra-patterned outfit or the creepy squish-faced ultrasound peeking out.Photo: Cake Wrecks via Pinterest
Dessert is served, C-section style.Photo: brianne87 via Pinterest
I’ll have a slice of the forearm, please.Photo: stephannoli.blogspot.com via Pinterest