Setting boundaries for borrowing
When it comes to your teen borrowing your clothes, set some boundaries with her first
The sun isn’t up yet, but you’re awake. What’s that noise?
A shadowy figure is rifling through the clothes in your closet. Not this, not that — ah, here’s one that will do.
A very picky burglar? No. It’s your 14-year-old daughter augmenting her outfit.
You’re a little annoyed (maybe you wanted to wear that black shirt today) and decide the two of you had better talk. After coffee.
Toronto parent coach Eva-Marie Moffat sees this issue a lot. Younger kids are more likely to look at our clothes as dress-up items, but teens who have grown into wearing the same shoe or dress size suddenly see a parent’s wardrobe as a potential treasure trove. Moffat finds that boys are more likely to borrow everyday items without too much thought — a T-shirt with a slogan, socks on days they can’t find a clean pair, a ball cap that happens to be hanging near the door. “It fits, it’s accessible, so they borrow it,” she comments. Girls, on the other hand, often borrow “special things,” says Moffat: a jacket that will finish off an outfit, some earrings, a new blouse. A girl is likely to do a bit more planning about what she wants.
Some of us are more attached to our stuff than others, Moffat comments, and have different comfort levels about seeing them borrowed. Still, a little borrowing can be a good thing, if it’s done in moderation and with consideration for others. “It can also be negative if done for the wrong reasons or not handled well,” she adds.
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Jillian Michaels is a mom — of two!
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