Toddler

Hugs and cuddles between parents and kids dwindle during the school years — and by adolescence, they’re pretty much gone. But there are good reasons to keep them, or some variation of them, alive.

Touch = health

“Physical contact is important across the lifespan,” says Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School of Medicine. Positive touch stimulates pressure receptors under the skin, lowering the heart rate, slowing the breath, decreasing stress hormones and boosting the immune system. In other words, touch helps bodies stay healthy.

Plus, it raises kids’ spirits immeasurably; science has shown that positive touch lowers depression, says Field. “Think of touch as a kind of shorthand, a powerful way to communicate affection, care and concern for your child,” says Calgary parent educator and mom of five Judy Arnall. When your daughter comes off the field and you say, “Tough game,” your words acknowledge her feelings. When you sling your arm around her shoulders, that’s the nurturing part.

Positive touch also teaches kids to read social and emotional cues. “When you and your son are wrestling and it gets too rough, there’s that wonderful moment of negotiation,” says Michael Ungar, a Dalhousie University professor of social work and the author of several books, including We Generation: Raising Socially Responsible Kids. This is how kids learn about appropriate touch, what feels good, what doesn’t, and how relationships work — about boundaries, communicating your feelings, expressing your needs and responding to someone else’s.

Originally published in Today's Parent, January 2010