Tween & Teen

I confess — it’s way harder than I thought it was going to be to find things my teenagers and I can do together. Part of it is that Sam, 16, and Annie, 13, are busier than they used to be. On some days, it feels more like I’m running a bed and breakfast than a family. They come, they eat, they leave. Home is a pit stop and, some weeks, conversations with my kids are as rare as snowflakes in July.

The other reason is that they’d rather be with their friends. But while this predilection to hang out with their peers is normal, I also know that strong family relationships are still important and much needed.

“It’s not easy because kids this age are pushing you away. They want to be independent,” says Toronto psychological associate Janet Morrison. So we turned to the other experts — parents with teenaged kids — for 20 ways to stay connected.

1 Eat together. “Family dinner hour is sacred in our house,” says Peterborough, Ont., mother of four Catherine Shedden. “If the kids are home, they must eat with us.” Suppertime at the Shedden household is fun — even boisterous. Conversation covers the gamut from the latest events at school and the antics of friends and neighbours, to politics and world events.

2 Cook together. Got a hungry kid rumbling around the kitchen? Suggest the two of you throw together a plate of nachos or a pizza. “Even my son will do it if I say, ‘Hey, check the cookbook and pick out some cookies to make!’” says Ruth Swyers of Ottawa.

Originally published in Today's Parent, October 2007