Tween and Teen

Author Suzanne Bunkers still has the diary she began when she was ten years old. In the introduction to her book, Diaries of Girls and Women: A Midwestern American Sampler, she writes: “Throughout our girlhoods, my sister and I shared a bedroom, and each of us kept her diary in her underwear drawer…. Sometimes we recorded daily events, noting birthdays and anniversaries along with school assignments and visits with friends. Other times we recorded our trials and tribulations.”

Bunkers and her sister were following in a long tradition of keeping diaries and journals when they wrote their first entries in those little books. (Diaries are generally volumes with space set aside on each dated page; journals are usually undated blank volumes — but many people use the two words interchangeably and in practice they overlap.)

Marie Young’s 11-year-old daughter, Fiona, has been keeping that tradition since she received a gel pen and notebook on her birthday three years ago. Like most preteens, she doesn’t write in her journal every day. “She writes in bursts — several days or weeks in a row, then not again for a few weeks or months,” says Young.

Why do preteens turn to journal writing? Young thinks that in part it is the opportunity to express emotions, sort out feelings and dream up solutions to problems in that private communication between you and your journal. Writing about their lives encourages preteens to think about themselves and their goals just as they are approaching a time of change and turbulence.

Plus, as Fiona has discovered, there’s the pleasure of rereading her old journals. “It’s like getting a snapshot of who you were then,” Young says. “Fiona has been able to revisit the way she thought and what she said about things from three years ago.” Fiona’s also been impressed by how much her spelling and writing skills have improved in the time she’s been keeping these records.

If your child is interested in keeping a journal, here are some ways to help her get started:

• Share examples of published diaries or fictional books written in diary form. See Famous Diaries below.
• Let your child choose the format. Some prefer predated pages; some want the freedom of a bound book. There are also many styles created for this age group, including books with inspirational quotes or memory-triggering questions, such as “What are your favourite movies?”
• Guarantee privacy. “Don’t ever, ever read it without explicit permission,” says Young, “no matter what the temptation may be or what brilliant justification you might think you have for doing it.” Worrying their parents might read the diary will stop many preteens from writing in it altogether.
• Try starting small with a vacation journal. Fiona brought a blank book to collect autographs on her trip to Disneyland, and ended up using it for notes on what they did each day.

You can encourage your journal-writing child with the reminder that years from now, her words will give her rare insight into the person she is becoming. As Suzanne Bunker writes: “Nearly 40 years after I first opened the pages of that diary, I recognize the central role it played in my growing-up process, in my coming of age, in my evolving perceptions of myself and my relationships with others.”

Keying Their Thoughts

In the 21st century, many preteens prefer to keep their journals on the computer. Those who want privacy may opt for password-protected files; those who would like to share their thoughts with the world might post their diaries on Web sites. Check out girlpower.gov or agirlsworld.com for some examples.

If your child wants to try Internet journaling, examine the site yourself to be sure personal information is removed. Then, monitor the site carefully to ensure she’s not sharing phone numbers, addresses or other information.

For more on internet safety, watch for our feature in the July issue.

Famous Diaries

North by Night: A Story of the Underground Railroad by Katherine Ayres: the fictional journal of a 16-year-old girl whose family operates a stop on the Underground Railroad.

Catherine, Called Birdy, by Karen Cushman: the fictional diary of a 13-year-old girl in medieval England.

The Princess Diaries, by Meg Cabot: now a movie, the fictional diary of 14-year-old Mia living in New York, who learns that she is heir to the throne of a small European country.

Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl, by Anne Frank: one of the most famous non-fiction diaries of all time — telling the story of eight people hiding in an attic to escape the Nazis.

My Name Is Seepeetza, by Shirley Sterling: the fictional diary of a young Native girl who is sent to a residential school and finds herself caught between two cultures.

Originally published in Today's Parent, June 2003